Bones Principle

Feb 252003
 

N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: D4

priceat
S A
H 10 7 4
D A Q J 9 7 5
C Q 7 2
jun
S K Q 9 6 4 2
H A 6 2
D 3
C A J 3
[W - E] Maestro
S 7
H Q J 9 8 5 3
D K 10 2
C 9 5 4
arung
S J 10 8 5 3
H K
D 8 6 4
C K 10 8 6
West

Pass
3 H
Pass

North
1 D
3 D
Dbl
East
2 H
Pass
Pass
South
Dbl
Pass
Pass

 

Today’s auction is a case study in how a series of normal bids can lead to a disastrous contract. The diamond opener is unobjectionable, and Gee’s weak overcall is perfectly correct at the favorable vulnerability. South’s negative double is on the thin side, but if you pass you can easily miss a cold spade game. West happily takes the opportunity to sandbag his moose in support of hearts, and is delighted to see his belated raise Bonesed by North, ending the auction.

So our hero winds up in 3HX where 4H has an excellent play. But it’s not called a Bones double for nothing. The defense begins with two rounds of diamonds, Gee winning the king and sluffing a club from the board, carefully preserving the spades. Is there a losing line? An immediate spade works. A diamond ruff and a spade works. A diamond ruff and the trump ace nets an uptrick, as does a trump finesse followed by the finesse of the 9 back. The trump finesse followed by a second high trump, a diamond ruff, and a high spade works. With the heart king stiff, even the club ace and a second club works.

Give up? The maestro leads the trump queen, wins South’s king with the ace, leads another trump back, plays the jack, and only then, having established the high trump for North but before ruffing a diamond, does he play a spade! The contract would still make if South held the spade ace, but we all know how unlucky Gee is. North wins the ace, cashes the trump and a diamond, and the defense comes to a club at the end to beat the contract one.

(Hand credit: pseudo-Gerard)

Feb 132003
 

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: S7

fpriolo
S 9 8 3
H K 9 4 3
D 9 8 7 6 2
C 4
carmdog
S 7 6
H 10 8 7 6
D K
C A K Q J 8 2
[W - E] jdonn
S K J 10 5 4 2
H Q 2
D Q J 4 3
C 9
Maestro
S A Q
H A J 5
D A 10 5
C 10 7 6 5 3
West

Pass
Pass

North

Pass
Pass

East
2 S
Dbl
South
3 C
Pass

 

Let’s say you hear a first-seat 2S opener, and you hold 15 points, 3 aces, a double stopper in spades, and your long suit, clubs, is 10xxxx.

2NT? That’s for STCPs™. The winning bid is 3C! This is passed by a startled West and unhappy North around to East, who makes a Bones reopening double with no extra values whatsoever. Reopening Bones, in this auction, instructs partner to bid with a long suit and no defense, and pass otherwise. West, whose long suit happens to be clubs, makes one of the world’s more obvious penalty passes, and here we are.

Even so, it looks worse than it is. With Qx onside in hearts and a spade lead an ordinary declarer will have trouble taking fewer than six tricks, for -500, an ordinary disaster. Gee, however, is no ordinary declarer.

The opening spade lead is ducked to Gee’s queen, and he promptly leads a trump. East wins the 9 and continues spades. Gee wins the spade ace for his second trick and plays another trump. West proceeds to draw trump. East tosses the diamond 3, showing a diamond preference, and three spades; Gee throws a spade and three diamonds from dummy.

West now shifts to the king of diamonds, taken by Gee with the ace. Three tricks for declarer. The black suits are known. West has five red cards and East has six. How are the suits laid out?

The diamond preference indicates at least the queen, probably the jack as well. (West might also have led diamonds holding KQJ tight.) West therefore holds either the stiff king or KJ. If KJ, hearts are 3-3, and East likely has the queen. (Otherwise he opened 2S unfavorable, and doubled 3C, with KJ10xxx xxx Qxx x. Bones, but still.) In any case there is no choice about how to play the hearts. Lead to the king and finesse the jack.

Gee diagnoses matters correctly, however, and places West with the stiff king, leaving East with two hearts. Now it’s a guess: if East’s hearts are Qx, declarer must finesse. But if they’re 10x, he must play the ace and the jack, pinning the 10. Well, I need not tell you which line our unlucky hero chose. It is true that if the pinning play fails you go down five instead of four on the finesse (West would be forced to lead another heart back eventually, allowing declarer to make two heart tricks.) It is true that if the hearts do happen to be 3-3 the pinning play cannot succeed. It is true that Gee’s line requires East to have made a reopening Bones double with KJ10xxx 10x QJxx x. And yet, so unlucky.

Dec 302002
 

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: H4

giove
S 7 4
H J 9 7 4 3 2
D Q 9
C 10 7 3
janiner
S A Q 8 5 3
H K Q 5
D 2
C A Q 6 2
[W - E] justinl
S J 10 6 2
H A 10 8
D A 10
C K 9 8 5
Maestro
S K 9
H 6
D K J 8 7 6 5 4 3
C J 4
West

Dbl
Pass
Pass
Dbl
6 S
Pass
Pass

North

4 S
4NT
5 D
6 D
Pass
Pass
Pass

East

Dbl
Dbl
Dbl
Dbl
Pass
Rdbl

South
4 D
Pass
Pass
5 S
Pass
Dbl
Pass

 

The Bones Principle lends itself to various extensions. Surely if it is sound to double any contract Gee chooses to declare, it is equally sound to ship back any double he chooses to make on defense. And who better to demonstrate the Bones Redouble than that legendary bonesmaster himself, Seaman Justin Lall?

After North’s four spade bid is sandwiched by two doubles, a lesser player might suspect foul play. But not Gee: he always trusts his partner, come what may. And again, an ordinary player might view the Seaman’s double of 4NT as a hint that something is amiss. To the Maestro this is nonsense. Partner bid 4NT, and he meant 4NT — RKC for spades. Gee passes dutifully. He holds the SK, they play DOPI, that is all he knows on earth and all he needs to know.

Naturally 5D, doubled again by the Seaman (his bidding line is Double-Double-Double-Double-Pass-Redouble, and even at Gee’s tables you don’t see that every day), must be a diamond cue. Spades have been agreed as trump, have they not? Gee signs off in 5S and awaits further developments.

Which are forthcoming: this time Janine doubles, North pulls to 6D, and the light begins to dawn, one would assume. 6D goes for sticks and wheels, but Janine makes the superficially foolish decision to pull to 6S.

Our hero doubles. His partner bid spades, he has Kx, how can they make 6S? The Seaman of course ships it back, and complains afterwards when Janine plays the trump ace and another trump, instead of taking the trump finesse for an overtrick. Didn’t Gee show one keycard? Can’t anyone be trusted any more?

Nov 252002
 

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: SA

kmb24
S 10 9
H A J 8 5
D A Q 9
C K 10 7 3
cicatrix
S 7 5 3 2
H Q 9 7 6
D 8 7 6 2
C Q
[W - E] Maestro
S Q 8 4
H K 2
D J 5 4
C A J 9 6 5
jdonn
S A K J 6
H 10 4 3
D K 10 3
C 8 4 2
West

Pass
Pass

North
1 D
1NT
Pass
East
Pass
2 C
Pass
South
1 S
Dbl

 

Well, it’s another night on Planet Gee. Our hero, thanks, in part, to an unusually helpful partner, has dropped about 100 IMPs, and South, serial Gee partner and opponent Josh Donn, commiserates. “North/South are very inconsistent on weekends,” he says. Gee agrees ruefully as today’s hand comes up.

North’s 1D is a catch-all Precision bid, usually showing 11-15 points and 2+ diamonds. South’s 1S reply is natural, North’s 1NT rebid shows 14-16 balanced, and Gee’s 2C overcall is…well, I’m not quite sure how to describe it. Adventurous maybe. South, knowing the trump lie as favorably as possible for declarer, cracks a Bones double, which North is delighted to pass.

South leads the SA, gets a look at the dummy, and shifts to the D3. North wins the DA and shifts back to spades, Gee covering the 10 as South wins the king. South cashes the SJ and the DK and continues diamonds. North wins the queen, cashes the heart ace for the defense’s seventh trick, and exits with a heart. Gee unblocks the king under the ace, wins the second heart in dummy and leads the trump queen, which holds. He ruffs a heart in hand and both defenders follow, leaving this:

kev
S
H
D
C K 10 7
trix
S 7
H 6
D 8
C
[W - E] Maestro
S
H
D
C A J 9
josh
S 6
H
D
C 8 2

 

Since North’s 1NT rebid showed at least 14 points he is marked with the trump king. (Had Josh properly alerted his Bones double he would have provided another clue.) There is only one way not to make two tricks, and our hero finds it. He cashes the trump ace, then executes a Miami endplay, leading away from his J9 into North’s K10 to lose the last two tricks, for 800, with only the vulnerability standing between Gee and a two-logo hand.

Asked about the overcall, Gee replied, “Partner, since when we play correctly we get a minus, when they do they get a huge plus, I felt I had to do something outrageous and then maybe turn the cards around.” The bridge gods, perhaps partly appeased, take only another 20 IMPs from Gee before he retires for the evening.

Nov 092002
 

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: CK

petit_g
S 10
H A 9 4 2
D Q 10 8 2
C A 10 6 5
janiner
S 9 6 3
H K 10
D 9 7
C K Q J 7 4 3
[W - E] justinl
S K 7 5 4
H 7 6 5
D A K J 5 3
C 9
Maestro
S A Q J 8 2
H Q J 8 3
D 6 4
C 8 2
West

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North

1NT
3 H
Pass
Pass

East
1 D
Pass
Pass
Dbl
South
1 S
2 H
4 H
Pass

 

Bridge teaching is difficult. Ordinarily keeping your student’s spirits up produces the best results, but sometimes, as in today’s hand, harsher measures are called for.

Proceedings begin innocuously, with a standard diamond opener by Seaman Lall, East, and a 1S overcall by Gee. Mini-Gee replies 1NT, passed back to our hero, who without hesitation bids 2H. Mini, under the impression that this shows a good hand, and holding four-card support and a maximum, naturally enough invites with 3H; Gee reevaluates his loser-rich, already immensely overbid hand and plunges fearlessly into game. A Bones double by the Seaman, holding two defensive tricks at most opposite a partner who has shown nothing, ends the auction.

West leads the club king and recriminations begin immediately.

Gerard: why 3H, efes?
G: just pass 2H
petit_g: god knows how many u got.. i limited my hand with 1 nt..why 4
petit_g: ????????????
G: yes you know
G: 1S then 2H …. can’t have much
petit_g: how do i know?? 3h is a free bid… and don’t have more than 10 for sure [He must mean 2H. —Ed.]
G: not true efes
petit_g: yes u cant have 17+
G: no, I can’t… I can’t even have 13
petit_g: why not??????????
petit_g: u r not a passed hand
G: what would I rebid with more than 12 points? [I give up. What? —Ed.]
petit_g: changing colour actually shows opening or more
G: no, efes… I am only the crew
petit_g: if u dont have much pass 3h, if i pass ur 2 h and we have a game i will be responsible
G: 1S then 2H is as weak as it comes
petit_g: yes if u r a passed hand
G: no, efes
petit_g: well ok then i am sorry i am not understanding
petit_g: i don’t understand this game

Gee bites his tongue and declares to his customary standard. He wins the club lead and plays S10. If he overtakes with the jack, playing the Seaman for the spade king, which he is a big favorite to hold, he goes down 1. He ruffs a spade and plays a low club. The defenders get their two diamonds and one trump but that’s all. Gee, however, makes the key play of the spade ace, leaving himself a spade loser in the endgame for down 2, -500, and a less than satisfactory result. Out comes the hickory switch:

G: proof is in the pudding… we just made 2
petit_g: u wanna be captain in all seats… its not fair… u r telling me my bidding and playing is wrong in front of all… when u r right, u r right but not this time sorry
G: oh no… dont start that with me, efes
petit_g: ok sorry…

Uh oh. Criticizing Gee’s bidding is one thing, but taking captaincy theory in vain will not be treated lightly.

G: what did I say 5 minutes ago?
justinl: come on guys, this is just a fun game, lets all relax a bit
G: that in this auction I was just the crew
petit_g: sorry and ty all
petit_g i cannot concentrate when u do this to me
G: I did not do anything to you
G: you are doing it to yourself
petit_g: i have not made any mistake at all… when I do i accept… but i am your pd… am i not?
G: you made an error, fine… just trying to tell you where
petit_g: no it is not an error… pls check… u cannot say it is… it was totally right
petit_g: and u criticize when i do.. but dont when i dont
G: you were right because you can’t see or refuse to see where you were wrong
G: I criticized you?
G: you told me I wanted to be captain in all hands
G: that’s criticizing you?
G: that’s you criticizing me
G: you bid wrong… and I told you you did
petit_g: my bid is very very very right 100 percent… if not i dont wanna play this game coz i know nothin
G: can’t you take that and try to understand?
G: no, efes
G: you can believe whatever you want… your 3H was wrong
G: now… are you gonna calm down?
petit_g: ok it was wrong.. this is how i play this game… pls accept
G: not if you play with me nor any really knowledgeable patner.. that means expert partner
G: do that to an expert and you are out the table [Ummm…”out the table”? —Ed.]
Spec #1: once you criticize your partner in front of everyone who not only has have one opponent you have three
G: I DID NOT DO THAT TO YOU, DID I?

Charity begins at home.

petit_g: i think u were distracted with the bidding…
G: you want to play with me, you play correct… not the Efes way
petit_g: i am sure u had a phone or something…
Gerard: again.. attacking me instead of accepting what I am telling you!!!!
petit_g: i am not attacking u.. u teach me all i know.. why should i?
Gerard: best way to defend yourself is beat me down to the ground… like aaron?

Wait a second. How’d I get involved in this?

G: you made a bad bid, efes
petit_g: pls calm down… sorry… i will leave…
G: I explained why
petit_g: just be ok and thats enuf
G: can’t you accept that without attacking me?
G: that’s ok… I’ll quit
G: efes.. your stubbornness will not help your game
G: oops he left

Oops. Still, discipline has been restored.

Oct 132002
 

N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: CJ

petit_g
S J 10 7 6 4
H A 6 3
D Q 9 2
C J 2
icewater
S A K Q 5 3 2
H Q
D 7 6 5
C Q 9 8
[W - E] justinl
S 9 8
H K J 10 8 4
D A J 4
C 7 6 4
Maestro
S
H 9 7 5 2
D K 10 8 3
C A K 10 5 3
West
1 S
2 S
Pass
North
Pass
Dbl
Pass
East
1NT
Rdbl
South
2 C
Pass

 

Today, for once, a hand on which Gee’s partner really does sell him down the river. No, really.

Gee, South, at unfavorable vulnerability, makes a reasonable 2C bid over West’s 1S opener and East’s forcing notrump. Double is the other choice, but the awful hearts could easily put you down 500 in 2H against a part score the other way.

Mini-Gee, North, doubles West’s 2S for penalties, which is fine but for the fact that you have to back up bids like that with actual defense. Seaman Lall promptly redoubles, alerting it to the specs as a Bones Redouble. We owe this modern extension of the Bones Principle™ to Ira Chorush. It can be enumerated as follows: When Gee doubles a freely bid contract for penalties, always redouble, relying on a combination of errors in judgment and defense. It will prove to be a profitable action 90% of the time.

Justin’s alert, then, was erroneous, as it was Mini-Gee, not Gee, who doubled. But since the contract is a part score, perhaps we could safely call it a miniature Bones Redouble.

The contract looks to be off 2 on casual inspection, and Mini gets the defense off to a fine start by leading the CJ. Gee cashes two clubs and gives his partner a third round ruff with his lowest club, the 3. I’m not sure what this means in the strange world of Roman carding, but ordinarily it would ask for a diamond shift. Mini takes his ruff, ponders the layout, and leads a low heart.

Now the hand is cold. Simply play the HK and lead another high heart back, discarding a diamond. The second diamond loser goes on the remaining heart, and declarer loses two clubs, a ruff, a trump, and a heart, making 2.

But West, in a fit of generosity, lets the heart run around to his queen, sticking himself in hand and giving the defense another chance. His best chance now is to cash three rounds of trump and throw North in with a fourth round, hoping he will try to cash his HA instead of shifting to diamonds. Instead he plays three rounds of trump and leads a diamond. North plays the 9 and declarer ducks in dummy. Gee now makes his one defensive error of the hand and it’s a beauty: knowing that his partner holds DQ and HA and that a diamond return will always beat the contract, he lets the D9 hold, allowing his partner to try to cash the heart. Sure enough, North, who can also mark his partner for the DK, plays the HA, and the Bones Redouble cashes in for 640.

I apportion blame for this catastrophe 80%-20% N/S. Declarer earns demerits for nearly allowing a cold hand to get away and dummy, Seaman Lall, for an incorrect alert of an unsound redouble. Gee’s sins look minor by comparison, and it’s only fair that he should be the hero every once in a while.

Oct 092002
 

None Vul
MPs
Dealer: West
Lead: H6

classact
S 8 6 3
H A 2
D Q 9 5 2
C A Q 8 6
petit_g
S K J 9 7 2
H K 9 7
D 10 8 4
C K 5
[W - E] Maestro
S 4
H 10 8 5 3
D A J 7 6 3
C J 10 2
a-yummy
S A Q 10 5
H Q J 6 4
D K
C 9 7 4 3
West
Pass
1 S
Pass
2 H
Pass
Pass
North
1 D
Pass
Pass
Pass
Dbl
East
Pass
1NT
2 D
3 D
Pass
South
1 H
Dbl
Pass
Pass
Pass

 

Today we have the remarkable spectacle of a balancer being hanged by his partner and hanging him in return. And this is just the beginning.

The auction cannot be faulted through Mini-Gee’s 1S overcall. Gee’s 1NT, though brave, shows, to most, something other than a six count and a stiff in the suit of his passed-hand partner.

The double scuttles what is left of Gee’s courage, as the words “Bones Principle”* thunder through his mind like a herd of charging elephants across the Serengeti. He pulls to 2D.

Over this Mini-Gee, with three cards in both reds, finds the imaginative bid of 2H, pulling to the suit his partner didn’t bid. Your basic expert would be ecstatic to find a 4-4 heart fit to play at the two level; not Gee. He persists with 3D, off 3 doubled for 500 and a stone matchpoint zero.

What possessed Mini-Gee to bid 2H with K97 remains a mystery. Perhaps they play transfers here — an unusual treatment, considering that the opponents have already bid two suits, including hearts, but one never knows. And although to the STCP™ it looks like Mini-Gee could have a stiff or void in diamonds, Gee divines Mini’s error (table feel!) and pulls to the superior 3D contract. What looks like luck is in fact a calculated risk by an expert to improve the contract.

Three brilliant bids in sequence, poor Gee still nets a bottom. Some days it just doesn’t pay a guy to get out of bed.

*Although the Bones Principle did not come directly into play, its specter was enough to affect the hand. Hence, a logo.

Sep 262002
 

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: HK

davekent
S 4
H 8 6 5 4 3
D J 6 5
C K Q 6 5
marciam
S K J 8 6
H K 2
D Q 9 8
C A 9 7 2
[W - E] janet
S 10 7
H A J 9 7
D A 10 2
C J 10 8 3
Maestro
S A Q 9 5 3 2
H Q 10
D K 7 4 3
C 4
West

Pass
Pass
Pass

North
Pass
1NT
Pass
Pass
East
Pass
Pass
Dbl
South
1 S
2 S
Pass

 

Today we have a rarity in the Chronicles, a normal auction. Gee’s hand is not nearly as bad as some that are opened routinely by experts these days, yesterday’s 1D for instance, and in third seat opening 1S mandatory. North’s 1NT is absolutely standard, as is Gee’s 2S reply. East makes a thin but plausible balancing double vulnerable; E/W could easily have a nine-card fit somewhere. Admittedly West’s penalty pass has a faint hint of Bones Principle about it. Still, it wasn’t alerted, as it must be in that case, and 2S seems a pretty big favorite to go down at least 1.

One can certainly envision this auction at another table. Then there’s the play.

West leads the HK, best for the defense, and continues hearts to East’s ace. A third round of hearts is led, and Gee makes the expert loser-on-loser play of discarding his stiff club, preserving trump control in dummy to ruff the sixth round of hearts. (West also sluffs a club.)

East shrugs and leads another heart. Gee with admirable consistency discards a diamond. (The whole obstinate line markedly resembles the 2HX hand from last week on which Gee achieved sticks and wheels in defiance of any rational expectation. A close comparison of the two will reward the reader.) A club shift brings another small diamond from Gee, as West wins the CA. She shifts to diamonds, East winning DA. Six tricks are in for the defense and no trump have been pulled.

East leads another diamond, and finally, finally Gee gets in with the DK. His low trump is ducked around to East’s S7, and Gee must still lose two more trump tricks to West’s KJx for sticks and wheels. So it turns out that Bones didn’t have very long to wait after all. Which is nice.

Sep 202002
 

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: SA

johnjay
S 10 9 3
H Q 6
D A Q 10 7
C Q J 10 8
renchau
S A 8 5
H K 10 7 5 3
D 9
C K 9 5 2
[W - E] tschen
S K Q J 6 2
H 2
D K J 8
C A 7 4 3
Maestro
S 7 4
H A J 9 8 4
D 6 5 4 3 2
C 6
West

Pass
Pass
Pass

North

1 C
Pass
Pass

East

1 S
Dbl

South
Pass
2 H
Pass

 

Well, it’s been a while.

At first glance it appears that Gee, sitting South, has a couple of alternatives after his partner opens a third-hand 1C and East overcalls 1S. An STCP™ might consider a negative double (pass is a bit chicken, especially non-vulnerable) but experts know that a negative double is always wrong with a five-card major. Of course in this case N/S miss their nine-card diamond fit, but no methods, no matter how sophisticated, can cover all contingencies. Still, it’s too good a hand to pass, so what’s left but 2H? Gee accordingly bids it. This is passed back to East, who doubles for takeout, and West is more than happy to leave it in.

2HX looks to be down 2, but some declarers just can’t catch a break. The defense opens with three rounds of spades, Gee discarding a club on the third round to minimize communication with dummy. The club shift is ruffed, and Gee plays a low trump to the HQ, which holds. Two tricks in, trump ace in hand, and yet it is still possible to go down 5!

The first key play is another trump, on which West shows out, discarding a club. Gee goes up with the ace, leaving West with K107 of trump over declarer’s J9, and leads a diamond, finessing the 10. East wins the DJ and and plays a spade. At this point South can still scramble a trick or two by discarding diamonds, but Gee ruffs with the H9. West overruffs with H10, pulls declarer’s last trump, and the defense cashes four black suit tricks and the long trump. 1100.

Gee manfully shoulders responsibility for the result in the post mortem.

Spec #1: EW makes 4H!!!
Spec #1: stix and wheeeeeeeels
Spec #2: oh well only 1.6 imps
Spec #2: 12.6
Spec #3: kaboom
G: I am not playing well any more
Spec #1: not playing well?????
Spec #3: go figure
Spec #4: any more?
Spec #5: now that was dbl dummy
G: let’s make this our last ok?
Spec #6: g-man strikes again
Spec #1: it takes great effort to bid that 2H
Spec #2: the operative words “not playing well”
johnjay: ok
Spec #7: the bid was ok then???????
Spec #4: sounds like
Spec #8: yes, but the play wasn’t

I kind of missed the logo. Didn’t you?

Sep 182002
 

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: HK

mmbridge
S 9 8 4 2
H J 8 7
D 5 4 3
C 9 8 7
icewater
S Q 7 6 3
H K Q 6 4 2
D 10 8
C Q 10
[W - E] justinl
S 10 5
H 10 9
D A 9 7 6
C A J 6 5 4
Maestro
S A K J
H A 5 3
D K Q J 2
C K 3 2
West

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North

Pass
Rdbl
Pass
Pass

East
Pass
Dbl
Pass
Dbl
South
2NT
Pass
3 D
Pass

 

I’d always heard that naval service built character, and I used to believe it. And then Seaman Lall gets in on a weekend pass and presents me with this.

Sitting South, Gee opens a standard 2NT, in second seat, passed around to the Seaman, who doubles. This is of course a Bones Principle double, promising no particular defensive values. As Dr. Robert has pointed out, Bones doubles must be alerted. Although the Seaman dutifully alerts the specs, he fails to alert the table. If he does so, North may leave in 2NT, which is down 2 at most, instead of SOS redoubling. With his dead flat hand he might consider leaving it in anyway, not that -500 will be a wonderful result.

Gee pulls to 3D, as instructed, which of course is doubled again, and the HK is led. There is no hope of getting to dummy with East’s four trump and doubleton heart, even after the lead. As long as the defense doesn’t break clubs it must come to three clubs, two trump, a heart and a spade. It doesn’t, and it does. 800.

In the post mortem the Seaman is uncharacteristically coy:

mmbridge: was that double supposed to ask for a club lead?
justinl: no
mmbridge: you should alert that the double is forced [mm has a point. The double is forced, in a sense. —Ed.]
justinl: we have never played together before
justinl: and no I don’t always double
mmbridge: so you always double on that auction 2nt/p/p?
justinl: only under certain conditions
mmbridge: what made this hand a double :)
justinl: even if i did, he would not know that
justinl: i charge for my bridge lessons
justinl: $50 an hour and i’ll tell you
mmbridge: sorry, I don’t pay for them
justinl: then stop asking :)

Seaman, Seaman, Seaman. I could tell him for a lot less than that.

(Update: The post mortem has been expanded slightly to accord with mmbridge’s comments, below.)