A 9 4 2
Q 10 8 2
A 10 6 5
9 6 3
K Q J 7 4 3
K 7 5 4
7 6 5
A K J 5 3
A Q J 8 2
Q J 8 3
Bridge teaching is difficult. Ordinarily keeping your student’s spirits up produces the best results, but sometimes, as in today’s hand, harsher measures are called for.
Proceedings begin innocuously, with a standard diamond opener by Seaman Lall, East, and a 1S overcall by Gee. Mini-Gee replies 1NT, passed back to our hero, who without hesitation bids 2H. Mini, under the impression that this shows a good hand, and holding four-card support and a maximum, naturally enough invites with 3H; Gee reevaluates his loser-rich, already immensely overbid hand and plunges fearlessly into game. A Bones double by the Seaman, holding two defensive tricks at most opposite a partner who has shown nothing, ends the auction.
West leads the club king and recriminations begin immediately.
Gerard: why 3H, efes?
G: just pass 2H
petit_g: god knows how many u got.. i limited my hand with 1 nt..why 4
G: yes you know
G: 1S then 2H …. can’t have much
petit_g: how do i know?? 3h is a free bid… and don’t have more than 10 for sure [He must mean 2H. —Ed.]
G: not true efes
petit_g: yes u cant have 17+
G: no, I can’t… I can’t even have 13
petit_g: why not??????????
petit_g: u r not a passed hand
G: what would I rebid with more than 12 points? [I give up. What? —Ed.]
petit_g: changing colour actually shows opening or more
G: no, efes… I am only the crew
petit_g: if u dont have much pass 3h, if i pass ur 2 h and we have a game i will be responsible
G: 1S then 2H is as weak as it comes
petit_g: yes if u r a passed hand
G: no, efes
petit_g: well ok then i am sorry i am not understanding
petit_g: i don’t understand this game
Gee bites his tongue and declares to his customary standard. He wins the club lead and plays S10. If he overtakes with the jack, playing the Seaman for the spade king, which he is a big favorite to hold, he goes down 1. He ruffs a spade and plays a low club. The defenders get their two diamonds and one trump but that’s all. Gee, however, makes the key play of the spade ace, leaving himself a spade loser in the endgame for down 2, -500, and a less than satisfactory result. Out comes the hickory switch:
G: proof is in the pudding… we just made 2
petit_g: u wanna be captain in all seats… its not fair… u r telling me my bidding and playing is wrong in front of all… when u r right, u r right but not this time sorry
G: oh no… dont start that with me, efes
petit_g: ok sorry…
Uh oh. Criticizing Gee’s bidding is one thing, but taking captaincy theory in vain will not be treated lightly.
G: what did I say 5 minutes ago?
justinl: come on guys, this is just a fun game, lets all relax a bit
G: that in this auction I was just the crew
petit_g: sorry and ty all
petit_g i cannot concentrate when u do this to me
G: I did not do anything to you
G: you are doing it to yourself
petit_g: i have not made any mistake at all… when I do i accept… but i am your pd… am i not?
G: you made an error, fine… just trying to tell you where
petit_g: no it is not an error… pls check… u cannot say it is… it was totally right
petit_g: and u criticize when i do.. but dont when i dont
G: you were right because you can’t see or refuse to see where you were wrong
G: I criticized you?
G: you told me I wanted to be captain in all hands
G: that’s criticizing you?
G: that’s you criticizing me
G: you bid wrong… and I told you you did
petit_g: my bid is very very very right 100 percent… if not i dont wanna play this game coz i know nothin
G: can’t you take that and try to understand?
G: no, efes
G: you can believe whatever you want… your 3H was wrong
G: now… are you gonna calm down?
petit_g: ok it was wrong.. this is how i play this game… pls accept
G: not if you play with me nor any really knowledgeable patner.. that means expert partner
G: do that to an expert and you are out the table [Ummm…”out the table”? —Ed.]
Spec #1: once you criticize your partner in front of everyone who not only has have one opponent you have three
G: I DID NOT DO THAT TO YOU, DID I?
Charity begins at home.
petit_g: i think u were distracted with the bidding…
G: you want to play with me, you play correct… not the Efes way
petit_g: i am sure u had a phone or something…
Gerard: again.. attacking me instead of accepting what I am telling you!!!!
petit_g: i am not attacking u.. u teach me all i know.. why should i?
Gerard: best way to defend yourself is beat me down to the ground… like aaron?
Wait a second. How’d I get involved in this?
G: you made a bad bid, efes
petit_g: pls calm down… sorry… i will leave…
G: I explained why
petit_g: just be ok and thats enuf
G: can’t you accept that without attacking me?
G: that’s ok… I’ll quit
G: efes.. your stubbornness will not help your game
G: oops he left
Oops. Still, discipline has been restored.