Diary – The Gee Chronicles


Mar 312003

It’s been a while:

G: O_Bones is so malicious and devious, that he makes me vomit!
Spec #1: what brought that up?
Spec #2: oh my
Spec #3: devious?
Spec #2: left field central
Spec #4: from out of the blue?
G: someone told me to have a look at aaron’s website
Spec #2: [Spec #4]? u did that?
G: supposedly because it was turning around and becoming nicer
G: so I went and read the latest comments
Spec #3: oh my
G: can’t believe how devious, mean people can be
Spec #4: uh, no
Spec #5: why should he say that for every one if something against him except if he is sick man
G: message to Mike Dorn!!!
Spec #6: where is aaron’s web site?
Spec #2: he’s gonna get upset and have to stop…
Spec #2: huh?
Spec #7: yep, he’s getting upset
Spec #8: fing?
Spec #2: thx [Spec #7]
Spec #5: finger:}}lol
Spec #7: don’t mention it
Spec #8: fang?
G: the fucking asshole pretentious and thinks-he-is-god cretin!
Spec #8: now THAT I unnerstood
G: I am getting out of here!

Mar 222003

Gee results update: As of today, according to his site, 2867 hands of IMPs, averaging -0.6435 per board, and 569 hands of MPs, averaging 42.32%.

Mar 172003

Heard in G-spec:

G: Aaron makes a living misrepresenting what people say
Spec: How much of a living?
G: Can’t be much.

I knew I shouldn’t have taken that piecework deal.

Jan 262003

I was saddened to hear today that Curtis Loftis, curtisxx on OKBridge and a frequent and valued commentator not only in the Gee Chronicles but elsewhere on the site as well, died from heart complications. The honor roll, of which, thanks to his contributions here, he was a prominent member, has been dedicated to him.

Curtis apparently had serious heart problems yet never mentioned them in public, at least not to me. He was 48 years old.

Scarce a day doth pass, but that I hear
Some one or other’s dead, and to my ear
Me thinks it is no news. But oh! did I
Think deeply on it, what it is to die,
My pulses all would beat, I would not be
Drowned in this deluge of security.

—Philip Pain

Dec 302002

Someone sent a harrassing email to Gerard, using my name and the name of someone else who I seriously doubt had anything to do with it. (Hint: the usual point of setting up a bogus email account is to conceal your identity.) Anything I have to say I say here in public, not in snide, misspelled, witless and unpunctuated private missives. Anyone who thinks I condone such behavior has been missing the point of this site by a rather long stretch. Seriously, try the AOL chat rooms: I hear they’re tons of fun!

Nov 082002

Dross writes:

With two months to go, Gerard is winning masterpoints at a blistering pace. His 82 points YTD is nearly double his closest competitor in his unit’s Mini-McKenney Sectional Master (50 to 100 MPs) Race. A good showing in Phoenix will secure his title.

Thanks Doug.

Oct 162002

Loyal reader mercutia writes:

I thought perhaps Gee might find it helpful to do as I have done. I’ve noticed that sometimes, his partners ask him questions such as “WHY????” or “how could you [x]????” Well, occasionally, my partners have done the same thing, and since my answers seem to have gone unheard, I took the liberty of making myself several little cards, about 1.5″x2.5″. When partner poses the interrogative, i just reach into my wallet, pull one out, and hand it silently across the table. i thought that perhaps Gee would like to have some of these cards printed up too. They say:

Because (choose one):

a. I am a complete f—-ing retard [note use of dashes, since Gee prohibits bad words at his table]
b. It has always been my dream to have a 42% game
c. The opps are paying me
d. No hablo inglés

I’m sure these would be appreciated in the spirit in which they are given.

They are.

Oct 162002

Several diligent readers scanned back issues of Bridge World and came up with several mentions of Ron Gerard and Larry Cohen, a famous partnership of the 70s and 80s, though none of Gee himself. So what Gee meant, when he said the magazine had written about him “several times,” was that it had written about a partnership whose names coincide with his own. Can happen to anyone.

Oct 142002

Last night Gee readmitted me to spec! I was speccing Mini-Gee, minding my own business the way you readers know I always do, when Gee came along, seated himself at the table, noticed me in spec, and informed me, apropos of nothing, that I could stay. I was warned, however, that this was a suspension, not a commutation, of my life sentence. I prepared a nice hand in honor of this; but say hello while I last.

Oct 022002

Could someone help me with a little research project? Apparently Gerard has been featured in several past issues of Bridge World:

Spec #1: try and get into challenge the champs, I think you could
Spec #1: you read The Bridge World?
G: no, I dont… why?
Spec #1: oh, there is a bidding series called challenge the champs
Spec #1: an expert pair bids hard hands I think you could get in easily, I will recommend you to Kokish if you want
Spec #2: a score of 20 would be remarkable
G: 20 what?
Spec #3: 20 points
Spec #2: Have you ever read The Bridge World G?
G: no, but I know they wrote about [me] several times in the last 10 years
Spec #1: they wrote about you G?
Spec #1: what issue is that, i have all the back issues from 1990-2002 and also all of 1986
G: yes, several times
Spec #1: maybe i could find the articles about you, know which month/year it is?
G: I dont know, specially since I dont read it
Spec #1: oh ic
G: and it was more than once
Spec #4: there is an index on the web with every name that has been mentioned we can look them up
Spec #1: G, was it an article by victor mollo? there is someone called timothy the toucan who he wrote about sometimes, maybe it was you in disguise?
G: I dunno, justin
Spec #1: oh might be
G: I was not interested at the time
Spec #3: timothy the toucan is pretty good
Spec #3: i cant find the index on the bridge world website
G: I had a carrrier [sic] that had nothing to do with bridge….it is only in the last 2 years or so that I switched to bridge as an activity because I can’t work my ex-profession anymore for health reasons
Spec #3: what your ex-profession
G: computer software development for the movie industry

Gee modestly disclaims all interest in his Bridge World mentions. Still, I’d certainly like to link to them or provide issue dates at the very least. The trouble is, as Spec #3 points out, the Bridge World web index doesn’t exist. Please, someone help.