Aaron Haspel

Three Strikes

Oct 222002

N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: 6

	petit_g Q 10 7 3 K 9 4 2 K 7 5 K 5
picos A 2 10 8 6 A Q 9 8 4 7 4 2		tai2000 K 9 5 4 Q 3 J 10 6 9 8 6 3
	Maestro J 8 6 A J 7 5 3 2 A Q J 10

West

1
Pass
Pass

North

Dbl
3
Pass

East

Pass
Pass
Pass

South
1

Occasionally the opponents have to be taken firmly by the hand and guided to the winning defense.

Today, for instance, finds our hero declaring four hearts after an utterly normal auction. The defenders miss their first chance to defeat the contract by leading a helpful trump, picking up the suit for declarer (in fairness, it’s easy to pick up anyway as the cards lie).

Gee wins with the H7 as East ducks the queen. Let’s think along with declarer: what’s the best hope to go down? A spade ruff is certainly one possibility, so we’ll definitely want to postpone drawing trump as long as possible. There’s also a small chance the diamond ace is offside, and if so, it’s important to make sure that the defenders take all the tricks that they’re entitled to.

Gee rises to the occasion with a diamond at trick 2. West flies the DA, and, mirabile dictu, returns another diamond, spurning a second chance to shift to the spade ace and beat the contract. East follows to the DK, and our hero is in peril, with four trump, a diamond, four clubs and a diamond ruff staring him in the face.

He pulls one round of trump and finds that they break. The suspense mounts. Surely now he can’t…he won’t…he leads a spade. In a subtle point that many STCPs™ would overlook, he leads the spade jack, encouraging West, the likely short hand, to take his honor and untangle the suit for a ruff. West finally gets the message. He continues spades and gets his third round ruff. Off 1. The post mortem is unrecorded, but really, what is left to say?

Oct 212002

“Experts say I am an expert, novices say I am an expert, intermediates say I am an expert, advanced players say I stink.”

Permalink October 21, 2002 No Responses »

Oct 212002

“I have no opinion of myself, which is making me even more mad, because it is not my concern what I am.”

Permalink October 21, 2002 No Responses »

Oct 192002

Dear Aaron:

Dr. Robert is too mean-spirited and cruel. He just goes too far. Period.

–Whinging in Wichita

Dear Witchy Woman:

You know, I try to take a well-earned holiday, catch up on my tan, pick the umbrellas out of my drinks, and then my editor has to spoil it by forwarding me letters like this one.

Look buddy, you telling me how to do my job? You see me walk into McDonald’s and tell you you just forgot someone’s pickles? You like to tell people what to do, why don’t you go to Gerard’s table and tell his partners to stop killing him?

Your unhealthy concern for me indicates a grueling regimen of treatment, administered, of course, by me. And just so you don’t think I’m too cruel and mean-spirited, because you’re a desperate case, I will reduce my usual fee¹ to $199.99 per session.² And you can be sure those are dollars well spent, as there are but two people in the world whose professional advice and services justify such a price: Gerard Cohen and myself. Consider yourself fortunate that you live in an age in which it is possible to enlist the services of such expertly trained and thoroughly experienced professionals. Call my office; all major credit cards accepted.

¹You don’t want to know.
²A session is 20 minutes.

Oct 192002

“I expected all the hands to be single-suited.”

—explaining to his partner why he took a vulnerable sac for 500 against a non-making, non-vulnerable five clubs after hearing an unusual 2NT on his left

Permalink October 19, 2002 No Responses »

The Gee-Spot

Oct 182002

N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: J

	endplay A 10 9 7 8 6 3 2 K J 9 7 4 —
icerunar 8 K J 5 A 10 6 2 J 10 8 7 4		ralphm 6 5 3 2 Q 9 7 8 K Q 9 6 2
	Maestro K Q J 4 A 10 4 Q 5 3 A 5 3

West

Pass
3
Pass

North
Pass
2

East
Pass
Dbl
Pass

South
1NT
2

Pass

Today we add a new term to the Gee lexicon, although, of course, we have seen the concept many times before. The Gee-spot may formally be defined as follows: The difference, as a percentage, between the optimal line on a contract and Gee’s actual line. Thus the Gee spot always ranges between 0 and 100.

An example may clarify. If Gee takes the optimal line on a contract, then the Gee spot is the optimal percentage minus the gee percentage, or zero, the minimum, in this case, since the two numbers are the same. This is, of course, unusual. If, on the other hand, Gee takes a zero percent line when there is a certain make available, the Gee-spot is 100% (optimal) minus 0% (Gee) = 100%, or simply 100. This, too, is unusual, though not unheard of; one of this week’s hands, for instance, had a maximum Gee spot.

As an exercise, let’s compute the Gee spot on a hand from last month. The optimal line: 99%. Gee’s line: 20%. Thus we have a Gee-spot of 99% – 20% = 79 (dropping the percentage, which is implied). Outstanding!

Yet the Gee-spot is impossible to compute for certain hands, like today’s. Gee ruffs the opening club lead and plays two rounds of trump and shifts to diamonds. The first round is ducked. East shows out on the second round. West takes his ace and leads a third round, ruffed by East, who returns a heart. Now Gee, crucially, instead of drawing the last trump and cashing diamonds, making five, ruffs his other small club and strands the diamonds in dummy by allowing East to ruff in on them with the last outstanding trump. He makes two club ruffs, four trump and a trick in each side suit for down 1.

Sure, the play is disastrous: yet what was the Gee-spot? If we reckon from the first trick, probably very small, since his line usually works when trump break (assuming he shifts to diamonds after two rounds of trump, and again, who knows?) And he was still about 80% to make right up until the moment he ruffed the second club, at which point he became 100% to go down. And if West had defended properly, winning the third diamond and shifting to hearts instead of winning the second and shortening his partner’s trump, again he would have gone down. It’s just too complicated — in this case. But many hands readily lend themselves to Gee-spot analysis, and I urge my readers to employ this useful heuristic.

A Ghastly Crew

Oct 172002

N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 3

	Maestro Q 8 6 4 J 6 5 2 6 5 A 10 4
jdonn 5 A 8 7 4 3 K 9 7 4 3 3 2		carmdog K 10 9 K Q 9 J 10 2 J 9 8 5
	petit_g A J 7 3 2 10 A Q 8 K Q 7 6

West

Pass
Pass
Pass

North

1NT
3

East
Pass
Pass
Pass

South
1

Pass

Today we see captain/crew theory in action. Mini-Gee kicks things off with a second-hand spade opener. Gee raises to two, immediately requests an undo, and changes his (correct) bid to 1NT on the grounds that it was an “accident.” Since 2S was correct this sounds right to me.

Mini-Gee jump shifts to 3C. Any STCP™ who thinks Mini is a queen or so short for this game-forcing bid is advised to review Gee’s comprehensive explanation of captaincy theory. The opener, to repeat, cannot be captain. The responder places the contract.

Which is fine. Gee knows that Mini-Gee has an excellent hand with at least nine cards in the blacks (he would bid 2NT or 3NT if he were more balanced). Holding nothing more than four-card spade support and three clubs to the A10, he makes the expert decision of signing off in three spades. Mini, as crew, has no choice but to pass, and pass he does. Gee approves wholeheartedly: no results merchant he.

“Magic hand,” he says, as West leads a low diamond for the second overtrick. “Claim 6, Efes. Give a heart and let’s go on.” Efes, less ambitious, decides to concede the defense’s natural trump trick as well and claim five. In the post mortem Gee waxes positively effusive. The spec comments, since I lack the transcript, must be left to the imagination.

G: Efes, I command [sic] you for passing 3S… first time ever I see you observe the captain/crew relationship rules properly:-)))))))))
g: yeah..i had too [siccer]..why did u not bid 4 :-(
G: was afraid you would go on
g: noooo
g: u r the capt
G: I am very proud of you, kido [siccest]:-)

Oct 162002

Loyal reader mercutia writes:

I thought perhaps Gee might find it helpful to do as I have done. I’ve noticed that sometimes, his partners ask him questions such as “WHY????” or “how could you [x]????” Well, occasionally, my partners have done the same thing, and since my answers seem to have gone unheard, I took the liberty of making myself several little cards, about 1.5″x2.5″. When partner poses the interrogative, i just reach into my wallet, pull one out, and hand it silently across the table. i thought that perhaps Gee would like to have some of these cards printed up too. They say:

Because (choose one):

a. I am a complete f—-ing retard [note use of dashes, since Gee prohibits bad words at his table]
b. It has always been my dream to have a 42% game
c. The opps are paying me
d. No hablo inglés

I’m sure these would be appreciated in the spirit in which they are given.

They are.

Oct 162002

Several diligent readers scanned back issues of Bridge World and came up with several mentions of Ron Gerard and Larry Cohen, a famous partnership of the 70s and 80s, though none of Gee himself. So what Gee meant, when he said the magazine had written about him “several times,” was that it had written about a partnership whose names coincide with his own. Can happen to anyone.

Dummy Play: Threat or Menace?

Oct 152002

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: 8

	vcaracci 9 7 5 3 K 7 6 2 10 9 6 4 3 —
aupaleti A 10 2 Q J 5 A Q 7 5 2 7 6		Maestro J 4 A 9 8 4 3 K J A K 10 9
	dkogut K Q 8 6 10 8 Q J 8 5 4 3 2

West

North
Pass
Pass

East
1

Pass

South
3

Pass

Today we reach 4H after an ordinary auction, and the play begins quietly. South leads his stiff diamond. Gee wins DJ hand and plays a low trump, covering the 10 with the jack as North wins the king and returns a diamond. Gee’s king holds as South discards a spade.

At this point two veteran Gee-specs begin to debate whether the hand is, in the argot, Gee-proof:

Spec #1: well, what do you think, gproof?
Spec #2: thk gee is at least even money here with 11 top tricks
Spec #1: can still find a way to go down
Spec #2: nah, no chance

With the battle lines thus drawn, Gee decides there’s no hurry to cash his eleven tricks. He plays the CA, and North ruffs and returns a spade, won with dummy’s ace. West cannot restrain himself; “Gerard?” he asks. No sweat, Gee assures him: “This way I make five, the other way only four.” (To the STCP™ who does not understand how one increases the tricks one takes by allowing an unnecessary ruff of a winner, I can say only, study harder. Maybe someday.)

Even after the ruff, though, declarer can still draw trump and take ten tricks. Pull trump ending in dummy and claim. Gee elects instead to cash the trump queen. Not optimal, I grant, but no problem. Since the hand with the long trump is also marked with the diamonds, just cash the two diamonds and you still make. Gee cashes one diamond, discarding a spade. He then pauses for effect, and makes the key play of leading a second trump, stranding his diamond winner, losing two clubs at the end, going down one, bringing an anguished cry of “Why???”* from his partner, and making an idiot of Spec #2, who — I cannot tell a lie — was me. Gee-proof. Wouldn’t you think I’d know better by now?

*Gee answered, “You made me doubt what I was doing.”

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