“Please NEVER play trump on defense, even if it is the right play… I can’t live with it.”
Jan 102003
Aaron Haspel
Jan 042003
N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 
3
Maestro A 10 5 3 2 8 5 J 10 8 5 2 8 |
||
| mmbridge Q 9 10 9 A Q 6 4 A Q 10 7 5 |
![[W - E]](http://gee.aaronhaspel.com/files/2012/10/t.gif) |
neduddki K 7 6 4 A Q 4 2 9 3 J 4 3 |
| petit_g J 8 K J 7 6 3 K 7 K 9 6 2 |
| West
2 |
North
2NT |
East Pass Pass |
South 1 Pass |
Today’s disaster begins with Mini-Gee’s mini one heart opener in second seat, holding no aces, no stiffs, and eleven points counting a loose jack. Perhaps he upgraded for the nine of the clubs, which, to be fair, does prove to be a useful card in the play. After 2C our hero has a problem. A negative double is out, because you never do that with a five-card major; and passing is for children. An unusual 2NT is all that remains; certainly it is an unusually bad bid, even by Chronicles standards.
Equally unusually, it is passed out. East is kind enough not to double, and neither mini-Gee, who probably regards the bid as a notrump game invitation that he’s happy to decline, nor West, the overcaller, has anything further to say.
East opens a low club, and West wins the queen and returns another to East’s jack and dummy’s king. At this point the diligent reader should pause and try to figure out for himself how declarer can take only two more tricks.
First he needs to open the suit where he can do himself the most damage. That would be spades. The maestro leads the SJ at trick 3, covered by the queen and ace, with East dropping the 6 for count. This play simultaneously kills the entry to his hand, preventing him from enjoying any diamond tricks.
It is now safe to lead diamonds, and Gee proceeds to run the DJ, losing to East’s queen. East now cashes three rounds of clubs and the diamond ace. Gee sluffs two spades — another vital play — and a diamond from his hand, and a heart from dummy. East, however, decides to give declarer a count. He sluffs a diamond on the last round of clubs, and then a spade, the 7 no less, on the ace of diamonds.
West now shifts to the S9, and Gee correctly covers, establishing his 5 as East wins the king and plays back a low heart, facing Gee with a heart guess he can’t get wrong, and doesn’t, as the HJ holds for the declarer’s third trick.
Dummy is now endplayed, as Gee leads a small heart off the board. East wins the queen as West follows. East cashes the ace, West discards a diamond, et voilà! a full count. East has already shown three clubs and two diamonds, and now four hearts. This gives him four spades, and all Gee has to do is hold on to that tiny five of spades for his fourth trick.
You didn’t really need me to tell you he discarded it, did you?
Jan 032003
Dear Dr. Robert:
I’ve lost all my students. No money is coming in. I’ve bought a gun and I’m debating whether to use it on Aaron or myself. I’m at the end of my rope. What should I do?
–G.C., Costa Mesa, CA
Dear Pathos,
Yes, my holiday was very pleasant. Restful. Thanks for asking.
First, don’t use the gun on Aaron. I can’t stress this enough. I’m not saying there’s any special medical reason you shouldn’t use the gun on Aaron, but Aaron wouldn’t like it, and he is my editor after all.
What you should do instead is consider what the world would be like if you had never been born. Hundreds of people watch you on OKBridge. On New Year’s Eve alone, if your spectators had been out on the road, it’s highly likely, statistically, that there would have been another traffic fatality, or injury, or at least a fender-bender. Then your students — who would have imparted the ins and outs of captain-crew theory to them if not you? What about poor Mr. Gower, the pharmacist? He would have poisoned that boy if you hadn’t been johnny-on-the-spot to catch his mistake. Oh wait, that was someone else. In any case, you catch my drift. Keep your chin up, and remember, no man is poor who still has friends. Also, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.
Jan 022003
E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 9
| wildcats K Q 4 A K 10 9 6 4 A K Q 7 — |
||
| bilgin J 7 5 3 2 8 10 8 Q 10 9 8 6 |
|
efe A 6 Q J 7 3 J 9 3 J 7 5 3 |
| Maestro 10 9 8 5 2 6 5 4 2 A K 4 2 |
| West
Pass |
North
2 |
East Pass Pass Pass Pass Pass |
South Pass 2 2NT 3NT |
Today we find the maestro declaring 3NT after a shrewd tactical bid. By refusing to support his partner with four Gee keeps the partnership out of a reasonable diamond slam that is probably down on the actual layout (table feel!) although it makes double dummy. And, of course, he right-sides the contract.
The best line after a club lead is a nice question, but it’s probably to discard a heart from dummy, win the club, and play the two top hearts. If an honor falls, you are cold. Cash the top diamonds and exit a heart: you will either have nine tricks, if the diamonds break, or the defense will have to provide your ninth, by leading a black suit.
If no heart honor falls on the ace and king, your chances are still good, but you need the diamonds to break. Cash four rounds of diamonds and play a spade honor. If East wins he is endplayed. If West wins he will be forced eventually to lead a spade back, and you can still make if the spade jack is onside. If the spade is ducked, exit a heart, with the same ending.
Even against perfect defense, this line wins close to 90% of the time: all of the heart 3-2 breaks (68%) and 40% of the heart 4-1 breaks (5%), and the rest of the time if diamonds break unless the spade ace is with West and the spade jack with East.
At the table, Gee wins the first club and finesses a heart to East, who returns a club. At this point a second heart will put him down, but that would be the logica continuation of mere bad play, and mere bad play is no concern of this site. No, Gee shifted to a spade, guaranteeing five tricks for the defense. So our Gee-spot becomes 90% – 0% = 90.
Not 100, I grant, but you can’t say he isn’t trying.
Dec 302002
None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: 4
| giove 7 4 J 9 7 4 3 2 Q 9 10 7 3 |
||
| janiner A Q 8 5 3 K Q 5 2 A Q 6 2 |
|
justinl J 10 6 2 A 10 8 A 10 K 9 8 5 |
| Maestro K 9 6 K J 8 7 6 5 4 3 J 4 |
| West
Dbl |
North
4 |
East
Dbl |
South 4 Pass Pass 5 Pass Dbl Pass |
The Bones Principle lends itself to various extensions. Surely if it is sound to double any contract Gee chooses to declare, it is equally sound to ship back any double he chooses to make on defense. And who better to demonstrate the Bones Redouble than that legendary bonesmaster himself, Seaman Justin Lall?
After North’s four spade bid is sandwiched by two doubles, a lesser player might suspect foul play. But not Gee: he always trusts his partner, come what may. And again, an ordinary player might view the Seaman’s double of 4NT as a hint that something is amiss. To the Maestro this is nonsense. Partner bid 4NT, and he meant 4NT — RKC for spades. Gee passes dutifully. He holds the SK, they play DOPI, that is all he knows on earth and all he needs to know.
Naturally 5D, doubled again by the Seaman (his bidding line is Double-Double-Double-Double-Pass-Redouble, and even at Gee’s tables you don’t see that every day), must be a diamond cue. Spades have been agreed as trump, have they not? Gee signs off in 5S and awaits further developments.
Which are forthcoming: this time Janine doubles, North pulls to 6D, and the light begins to dawn, one would assume. 6D goes for sticks and wheels, but Janine makes the superficially foolish decision to pull to 6S.
Our hero doubles. His partner bid spades, he has Kx, how can they make 6S? The Seaman of course ships it back, and complains afterwards when Janine plays the trump ace and another trump, instead of taking the trump finesse for an overtrick. Didn’t Gee show one keycard? Can’t anyone be trusted any more?
Dec 302002
Someone sent a harrassing email to Gerard, using my name and the name of someone else who I seriously doubt had anything to do with it. (Hint: the usual point of setting up a bogus email account is to conceal your identity.) Anything I have to say I say here in public, not in snide, misspelled, witless and unpunctuated private missives. Anyone who thinks I condone such behavior has been missing the point of this site by a rather long stretch. Seriously, try the AOL chat rooms: I hear they’re tons of fun!
Dec 292002
“Four clubs is never to play.”
Dec 252002
E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: 3
| gerardo K 4 3 J 10 8 6 A J 3 A 7 2 |
||
| sasscat Q 9 2 A 9 3 K 9 4 6 5 4 3 |
|
danb 7 6 Q 7 4 2 Q 7 2 Q 10 9 8 |
| Maestro A J 10 8 5 K 5 10 8 6 5 K J |
| West Pass Pass Pass Pass |
North 1 1NT 2 Pass |
East Pass Pass Pass Pass |
South 1 2 4 |
On hands with several possible lines of play, expert declarers postpone decisions as long as possible, refusing to commit themselves to a line of play before it’s necessary. EXPERT declarers take this one step further, sometimes playing entire hands without making a decision at all.
Today a normal new minor forcing auction lands our hero in a normal spade game, against which West has an unenviable choice of leads. He can hardly be faulted for opening a low heart, although a club turns out to be best. Gee plays low from dummy, as does East (playing the 7 to show even count), and wins the HK.
Now there are four or five ways to make the hand. Declarer can find the trump queen. He can take the club finesse and sluff his losing heart. He can set up hearts. He can eliminate clubs and endplay West in hearts. There are probably other lines that I’m missing.
Our hero preserves most of his options by leading another heart at the second trick. West should duck but flies the ace and shifts to a club, East’s queen being taken by Gee’s king.
At this point the hand is stone cold as long as trump break, with many extra chances. Declarer cashes the club jack, plays the ace and king of trump and runs a heart, discarding a diamond. He wins the return, discards two more diamonds on the club ace and the good heart, and claims.
We now return to Planet Gee. D’Artagnan cashes the club jack, cashes two rounds of trump, ending up in hand, and decides it might be time to do something about his diamond losers. He leads a low diamond and finesses the jack, losing to the queen.
East can seal Gee’s fate by playing back another diamond, but in the holiday spirit he plays a low heart instead, giving Gee one last chance. Discarding a diamond makes the hand unless West led from AQxx. Gee ruffs.
Merry Christmas.
Dec 222002
N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: J
| Maestro A 10 5 3 A K Q J 9 8 K A 9 |
||
| dellache K 8 7 4 7 Q 10 7 4 3 2 8 6 |
|
as J 6 6 5 4 3 9 5 K J 5 4 3 |
| delmas Q 9 2 10 2 A J 8 6 Q 10 7 2 |
| West Pass Pass Pass Pass Pass |
North 2 3 4 7 |
East Pass Pass Pass Pass |
South 3 3NT 5 Pass |
Some days we concentrate on Gee’s card play, others on his bidding, still others on his incomparable post mortems. Then there are those special days, when we hit the trifecta.
Gee opens 2C in second seat, and his partner puts the auction in high gear with a 3D bid on a balanced nine points and a four card suit. The STCP™ would consider 2NT, which is one reason he’s just watching the action.
Gee bids 3H, his partner 3NT. After the first positive response Gee isn’t taking no for an answer, and he launches into 4C. This, as all experience Gee-specs know, is Gerber: Gee plays Gerber directly over all notrump bids. (All notrump bids, you ask? All notrump bids.)
South, a novice in the Tao, takes 4C as clubs and raises to 5. Now our hero has a problem. Faced with an impossible response, he takes the logical course of bidding an impossible slam. Seven hearts.
There are two cards in East’s hand that give declarer a chance to make, and he leads one of them, the spade jack. (The other is the club king.) Gee plays the queen from dummy, and West can still beat the hand by ducking. Covering, however, is the normal and correct play with the spade ten hidden, and cover he does.
Declarer now has twelve tricks in the bag and great squeeze chances for the last one. Normally he would have to guess whether to play West, who obviously holds the long spades, for the club king or the diamond queen, but on the actual layout it’s easy. Declarer cashes the diamond king, plays two rounds of trump coming to dummy with the H10, cashes the diamond ace, sluffing the club loser, and ruffs a diamond. East shows out on the third diamond and it’s all over. Declarer draws trump, cashes the club ace and runs the rest of the trump, coming to this:
| Maestro 10 5 3 9 — — |
||
| dellache 8 7 4 — Q — |
|
as 6 — — K J 5 |
| delmas 9 2 — J Q |
On the last trump declarer tosses the club queen from dummy and West, needing four cards to guard against the spade and diamond threats, must throw in the towel.
Gee’s actual line is identical until trick 6. But instead of ruffing a diamond, he crosses back to his hand with the club ace, draws the rest of the trump, and plays two rounds of spades ending in dummy to kill his last entry. East of course shows out and Gee is left with a spade loser for down 1.
National politicians could learn from the way Gee handles a post mortem. He is asked why he bid 7H.
“I had a feeling that we needed a slam swing to win the match,” he replies. (This was the last hand of a team game. The score was hidden. Note his judicious choice of the word “feeling.”)
He is asked why he didn’t ruff a diamond and run his trumps. Gee disarmingly agrees that he should have ruffed a diamond, in the manner of an arsonist confessing to jaywalking. “But it doesn’t matter if I do,” he continues. “There is no squeeze.”
He is asked why he didn’t run his trumps even without ruffing a diamond, guessing whether to play West for the club king or the diamond queen. “I knew West held the diamond queen,” says Gee.
Dec 222002
“My principle is, if open NT, try to play in a major. If not open in NT try to play in NT.”