One Large to the Winner – The Gee Chronicles
Apr 282003

Both Vul
Dealer: West
Lead: DJ

S K Q 9 5
H 6
D 8 4 2
C K Q 10 9 4
lil sister
S 7 4 3 2
H Q 10 5
D K 10 7 5
C J 7
[W - E] ttsum
S 10 6
H A K 8 7 4 2
D A Q 9 3
C 2
S A J 8
H J 9 3
D J 6
C A 8 6 5 3
4 H
3 H


Today’s hand has nothing of interest in the play and little in the bidding. I wouldn’t open three hearts third-seat with East’s hand at any vulnerability, but I suppose I can understand the rationale. It helps to shut out the spades, and since par on the hand is four spades or five clubs down one, you can’t argue with the results. I wouldn’t raise to game with West’s hand either, but I guess that’s what you do if you know your partner bids that way.

There is, however, the post mortem. “Rumpler” and “gustav” appear from the gallery to engage Gee in what the diplomats call “a frank exchange of opinions.”

G: he could have made 11 tricks
G: but not after pulling all the trumps
lil sister: true
gustav: if he was off 2 spades and a club off the top, how can he make 5
Rumpler: there were ten tricks – no more, no less, on any lead, any play, and defense. where the heck does anyone see 11???
G: he could ruff one of our top clubs
lil sister: i counted 10 but that doesn’t mean anything
gustav: can’t make 11 with a crowbar
G: I repeat he could get 11 tricks
Rumpler: he has 6 H’s and 4 D’s – that is 10… period. one does not gain tricks by ruffing in the long trump hand… any novice knows that
lil sister: lets not argue… lets just have a good time
Charlie_nt: not always
Rumpler: ok gerard… teach me… HOW could he get 11?
G: typical case of bad players who make strong statements about what they dont know and become insulting to prove they are right! LOL
Rumpler: lol my tuchus… prove you can find an 11th trick
G: i don’t have to prove you anything
Rumpler: then don’t make silly statements or goofy post mortems
G: I am not paid to show you how to make 11
Rumpler: i will pay you $100 to show me an 11th trick
G: you are soooo rude and insulting!!! who do you think you are?
Rumpler: somebody who can count
G: LOL… no you can’t
Charlie_nt: ruffing in the long hand is a very useful technique
G: doesn’t matter, Charlie.. they think by being rude and arrogant they will win… has nothing to do with bridge
Rumpler: yeh – if you can ruff enough times to shorten yourself if reversing the dummy — otherwise…
Charlie_nt: or cross-ruff
Rumpler: i offered you $100 to show me how you can make an 11th trick as YOU said, put up or shut up gerard
G: you shut up, mister!!!!
Rumpler: you are a fraud

$100? I’ll go one better than that. Hell, I’ll go nine better. I’m offering $1,000, to Gerard or anyone else, for a line that produces 11 tricks. (I will not accept cooperative lines, such as North and South both tossing all of their spades.)

Hey, I promised a contest. I didn’t promise a winner.

  8 Responses to “One Large to the Winner”


    something Gee said deserves repeating…..”typical case of bad players who make strong statements about what they don’t know” …LOL – I couldn’t have stated it better in a million years!


    Rumpler is a man after my own heart; couldn’t have said it better myself. Gee comments on an opponent’s play, not to compliment, but to denigrate; and for not making an invisible overtrick yet. Then, when challenged to justify his ludicrous drivel, the great Geewillie finally finds the perfect kernel of truth, albeit in retrospect: when he mentioned “…bad players who make strong statements about what they don’t know and become insulting to prove they are right…” he was describing himself perfectly.


    Gee’s line was incomplete. Declarer ruffs one of the defense’s top clubs — and then ruffs one of the defense’s top spades.


    I’ve got it. After drawing trumps, gee leads a club to the jack. North wins and grabs the club K, as gee sheds a spade. Thinking gee must be out of trumps, he tries another club, allowing gee to discard his other spade as he ruffs in dummy. Making 11 tricks. You can’t criticize gee for a defensive line he himself might find on a good day.


      Nice try Ira, but if he draws trump, which are 3-1, what’s he gonna use to ruff the third club? I suppose you could argue for two rounds and a club exit, but that’s a little too much defensive cooperation to get the cookie.


    What’s with this one hand per week crap??? I want my money back!


    Our Hero never ceases to amaze me. He wants to find a trick in the J7 opposite 2 suit or a trick in the 7432 opposite T6 suit. I will wager that The Enyclopedia of Bridge does not cover how to get one trick out of a 7432 opposite a T6 suit combination nor does it cover how to get one trick out of a J7 opposite 2 suit combination. These cases are nonsensical and therefore represent a conundrum. I feel in “Conundrum Hell” 90+% of the time when Gerard’s world and mine ever so slightly overlap.

    Thanks Aaron for another glimpse into the Twilight Zone.

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