Aaron Haspel

Double Dummy

Sep 202002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: A

	johnjay 10 9 3 Q 6 A Q 10 7 Q J 10 8
renchau A 8 5 K 10 7 5 3 9 K 9 5 2		tschen K Q J 6 2 2 K J 8 A 7 4 3
	Maestro 7 4 A J 9 8 4 6 5 4 3 2 6

West

Pass
Pass
Pass

North

1
Pass
Pass

East

1
Dbl

South
Pass
2

Pass

Well, it’s been a while.

At first glance it appears that Gee, sitting South, has a couple of alternatives after his partner opens a third-hand 1C and East overcalls 1S. An STCP™ might consider a negative double (pass is a bit chicken, especially non-vulnerable) but experts know that a negative double is always wrong with a five-card major. Of course in this case N/S miss their nine-card diamond fit, but no methods, no matter how sophisticated, can cover all contingencies. Still, it’s too good a hand to pass, so what’s left but 2H? Gee accordingly bids it. This is passed back to East, who doubles for takeout, and West is more than happy to leave it in.

2HX looks to be down 2, but some declarers just can’t catch a break. The defense opens with three rounds of spades, Gee discarding a club on the third round to minimize communication with dummy. The club shift is ruffed, and Gee plays a low trump to the HQ, which holds. Two tricks in, trump ace in hand, and yet it is still possible to go down 5!

The first key play is another trump, on which West shows out, discarding a club. Gee goes up with the ace, leaving West with K107 of trump over declarer’s J9, and leads a diamond, finessing the 10. East wins the DJ and and plays a spade. At this point South can still scramble a trick or two by discarding diamonds, but Gee ruffs with the H9. West overruffs with H10, pulls declarer’s last trump, and the defense cashes four black suit tricks and the long trump. 1100.

Gee manfully shoulders responsibility for the result in the post mortem.

Spec #1: EW makes 4H!!!
Spec #1: stix and wheeeeeeeels
Spec #2: oh well only 1.6 imps
Spec #2: 12.6
Spec #3: kaboom
G: I am not playing well any more
Spec #1: not playing well?????
Spec #3: go figure
Spec #4: any more?
Spec #5: now that was dbl dummy
G: let’s make this our last ok?
Spec #6: g-man strikes again
Spec #1: it takes great effort to bid that 2H
Spec #2: the operative words “not playing well”
johnjay: ok
Spec #7: the bid was ok then???????
Spec #4: sounds like
Spec #8: yes, but the play wasn’t

I kind of missed the logo. Didn’t you?

Sep 192002

Doc,

Can you give us any tips on how to play with Gerard? I’ve played with him many times, and I still don’t have the slightest idea how to go about it. Thanks.

–The Seaman, San Antonio, TX

Hey Sailor,

Fleet’s in, eh? The fact that someone with your extensive experience playing with Gerard still needs advice points to the extreme difficulty in doing so, and care required. In a recent column I recommended a handy kit to keep with you at all times during the game, but there are other useful hints. First, bid notrump ASAP. This dramatically improves your chances of playing the hand, and as we all know Gee makes an impeccable dummy. Gee also has a severe case of captainizationophilia, or, in layman’s terms, pathological desire to take over auctions. Since notrump bidders rarely become the captain of sane auctions this often leads to difficulties. But if you get that notrump bid in first, then you misdescribe your hand quickly and easily, and let your partner’s expert judgment guide you the rest of the way!

You should also take the low road in the bidding and play as often as possible. You STCPs think that just because you’ve seen Gerard do something that you can do it too. Nonsense: it took Gerard dozens of years and thousands of hands to hone his skills, just as you weren’t born knowing how to polish the brass and swab the decks. Now that’s a lesson you can carry with you on all your expeditions through the high seas. Ahoy cap’n, stix and wheels dead ahead!

Checkback Stayman

Sep 192002

N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead:6

	ahmed1 J 5 A J 9 3 6 5 2 J 9 6 5
caguirre A 2 K Q 10 7 Q 8 7 A 8 3 2		Maestro Q 10 7 8 4 A K J K Q 10 7 4
	baher1 K 9 8 6 4 3 6 5 2 10 9 4 3 —

West

2
3
Pass

North

Pass
Pass
Pass

East
1NT
2

South
Pass
Pass
Pass

It’s not the auction that counts, it’s the reasoning:

G (in spec): club rebid does not make sense
Spec #1: I am with g man on this one
Spec #2: me too
Spec #3: it was checkback stayman, everybody plays that
Spec #4: lol!!!!!!!!
Spec #3: he was checking back to make sure you had no four card major
G: that’s what I thought it would be, but I don’t trust him
G: as a checkback stayman, is asking if I have a 3 cards heart suit
G: first time asking for 4 cards
G: 2nd time asking for 3 cards

Questions for Discussion
1. What methods are available to show a five-card major over a 1NT if you decide not to play the Cohen treatment of checkback Stayman?
2. What methods are available to show a 5-4 hand in the majors?
3. Gee is an expert. One of the better-known tenets of expert bridge is “trust your partner.” Discuss.

Non licet bovi.

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 7

	Maestro K Q J 5 Q 4 K J 9 8 7 6 3
hkubilay 10 9 8 6 3 A 9 5 3 2 Q 10 4		aqualung 7 2 K J 2 10 9 8 7 4 3 J 5
	demolay A 4 10 8 7 6 A Q 6 5 A K 2

West

Pass
Pass
Dbl

North

2
3
Pass

East

Pass
Pass
Pass

South
1NT
2

Pass

Questions for Discussion
1. Which major suit is Gee asking about with his 3C checkback bid?
2. Can you construct a 1NT opener for South on which 6C has a play?

Quod licet Jovi.

The Double That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Sep 182002

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: K

	mmbridge 9 8 4 2 J 8 7 5 4 3 9 8 7
icewater Q 7 6 3 K Q 6 4 2 10 8 Q 10		justinl 10 5 10 9 A 9 7 6 A J 6 5 4
	Maestro A K J A 5 3 K Q J 2 K 3 2

West

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North

Pass
Rdbl
Pass
Pass

East
Pass
Dbl
Pass
Dbl

South
2NT
Pass
3

Pass

I’d always heard that naval service built character, and I used to believe it. And then Seaman Lall gets in on a weekend pass and presents me with this.

Sitting South, Gee opens a standard 2NT, in second seat, passed around to the Seaman, who doubles. This is of course a Bones Principle double, promising no particular defensive values. As Dr. Robert has pointed out, Bones doubles must be alerted. Although the Seaman dutifully alerts the specs, he fails to alert the table. If he does so, North may leave in 2NT, which is down 2 at most, instead of SOS redoubling. With his dead flat hand he might consider leaving it in anyway, not that -500 will be a wonderful result.

Gee pulls to 3D, as instructed, which of course is doubled again, and the HK is led. There is no hope of getting to dummy with East’s four trump and doubleton heart, even after the lead. As long as the defense doesn’t break clubs it must come to three clubs, two trump, a heart and a spade. It doesn’t, and it does. 800.

In the post mortem the Seaman is uncharacteristically coy:

mmbridge: was that double supposed to ask for a club lead?
justinl: no
mmbridge: you should alert that the double is forced [mm has a point. The double is forced, in a sense. —Ed.]
justinl: we have never played together before
justinl: and no I don’t always double
mmbridge: so you always double on that auction 2nt/p/p?
justinl: only under certain conditions
mmbridge: what made this hand a double :)
justinl: even if i did, he would not know that
justinl: i charge for my bridge lessons
justinl: $50 an hour and i’ll tell you
mmbridge: sorry, I don’t pay for them
justinl: then stop asking :)

Seaman, Seaman, Seaman. I could tell him for a lot less than that.

(Update: The post mortem has been expanded slightly to accord with mmbridge’s comments, below.)

Sep 182002

Dear Dr. Robert:

You’re in spec at Gee’s. He knows you’re there and calls up to invite you to play. You want to protect your Lehmans on the one hand and continue to spec on the other. What do you do?

–S.G., Tampa, FL

Hey S.G.,

Don’t I know you from somewhere? Maybe not. In any case, you’ll be pleased to know you have several options in this awkward situation.

1. The “crash and burn” approach. Say, “I would be happy to play with you Gee, but that family of crows nesting in your hair knows more about the game than you do.” Sure, you will miss out forever on the joys of speccing at Gee’s table, but there are convenient places to keep up with the goings-on, and at least you will go down in a glorious flaming wreck that all will enjoy watching.

2. The “feed the ego till it can’t eat no more” approach. Say “The pleasure would be all mine, but you expert types intimidate me, and your play is so enjoyable to watch from above that I’ll just stay up here thanks.” It’s like giving your dog a nice juicy t-bone steak straight from the table. You just know that every night from then on he will be begging right at your side come dinner time. Roll over ego, roll over…Gooooooood ego.

3. The “I want to be famous” approach. Accept the invitation. I know it sounds like suicide, but consider: scientific study had demonstrated that Gee’s Lehmans are right around 30. So say you indulge in some matchpoints with Gee, you have a Lehman of 50, and the opponents are 55ers. You only need a 100(30+50)/(30+50+55+55) = 8000/190 = 42.1% game to break even, so you can take your average minuses with pride! And being tight with the G-ster has its perks. He can be your link into the expert community to meet Rodwell and Helgemo and all the others, and if you’re really lucky he’ll give you a discount on his e-book once he has deduced to his satisfaction that you need it. Finally, playing with Gee gives you the power to induce some memorable post mortems for all the specs to enjoy. Trust me, they will appreciate it.

Sep 182002

Dear Dr. Robert:

What sort of charm or amulet should Gee’s partners carry to overcome Gee’s bad luck?

— Superstitious in the Sudan

Dear Su-Su-Sudio:

Sometimes even the experts need experts. I consulted my friend and colleague, Witch Doctor Wendy. She is exceptionally well-versed in voodoo and black magic, and has come up with a do-it-yourself home kit which no one who plays with Gee should be without.

A printed-out copy of Bridge is a Conversation, for quick and easy reference in case you don’t know what to bid. Plus it makes for great bathroom reading.
A granola bar. High blood sugar is essential to maintain the alertness that partnering Gee requires.
A large mallet. To beat your head in whenever appropriate, Looney Tunes style.
A horseshoe (metal only). Doubles as a hard object to throw through a window, should you feel the need to act on your frustrations.
A copy of my autobiography, Preemptive Vulnerable Overcalls in the Mist: My Life Studying Gee. Coming soon to a bookstore near you.

Subset, Superset

Sep 172002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 5

	rfische J 10 9 8 2 Q 10 8 6 2 Q A 9
ralphm K 6 5 A 8 2 K Q 7 6 4 3 2		Maestro A 7 3 5 4 3 A K 10 9 7 6 3 —
	pru Q 4 K J 9 7 J 5 4 J 10 8 5

West

2
2
3
Pass

North

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

East
1

South
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

There are intricacies to zero percent theory that have yet, in this column, gone unexplored. What shall we call a line that makes against a particular layout, when there is another line available that makes against a superset, as we computer types say, of that layout? How about a line that wins against a particular, improbable layout when there’s a line that wins against every single layout no matter what? You need Venn diagrams for some of this stuff.

Today Gee, East, winds up declaring an excellent 5D contract after a rather inelegant auction. 2C is presumably game forcing, so after the 2D rebid, showing a minimum, West has no reason not to rebid his clubs. 5C may be the best contract, and even 6C is possible against the right minimum, something like Ax xx AKxxxx Jxx.

Against 5D South leads the trump 5. Gee plays the deuce from dummy and wins the queen with the ace. Time to plan the play. Not much to plan: the hand is 99 and 44/100% cold. Cross to the HA and run the CK, discarding a heart. If it holds you ruff a heart and make 5. If South wins and continues trump, you have no trump losers and the spade disappears on your good club, making 5. If she plays anything else you ruff a heart in dummy (the 8 will force the jack, so an overruff again disposes of the potential trump loser) and pull trump, making 5. If North covers you ruff, ruff a heart, cross to your hand with a spade and pull trump, making 5. This fails only if one defender began with three trump and nine hearts, in which case we might have heard something about it in the bidding; or if North holds all six clubs and South holds three trump.

At the table Gee wins the trump king and promptly slaps down another high trump. This line succeeds whenever trump are 2-2 and the CA is onside, for about 20%. This does not, however, come to pass, and Gee winds up down 1.

After the hand Gee graciously congratulates South on her “good lead.” “Yes,” West chimes in, “it makes you guess.” It makes you guess. Are post mortems contagious? I refer this question to my medical authority.

Sep 172002

Dear Dr. Robert:

I love your column and read it religiously! Could you please tell me, is a Bones Principle double alertable?

–Buffaloed in Buffalo

Dear Buffy,

Excellent question! The recommended procedure is not quite the same on OKBridge as it is in an ACBL-sactioned event, but since Gerard is understandably reluctant to play in ACBL tournaments, perhaps because of the well-known shortcomings of his partners, let’s limit our discussion to OKBridge. Clearly players are entitled to full disclosure of all information imparted in their opponents’ bidding, and this is no exception. Bones doubles should be alerted with an explanation similar to “doesn’t promise any particular defensive values of any kind.” It is a common mistake to assume that Gee’s superior table presence and command of modern expert bidding eliminate the need to alert him to what should clearly be a standard treatment at his table, but one must nonetheless alert, just as one would for Garozzo, or Soloway. Besides, Gee’s partner should have the information too, so he can prepare his apologies for overbidding in advance while Gee is holding the loss on the hand to 1100.

Good luck!

Going Deep

Sep 162002

You hold xxxx xx x 1098xxx at IMPs, both vulnerable. Your partner opens a diamond first seat, pass to your right, your bid. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head. Expert bridge requires careful thought.

If you passed, then you need to read this column more attentively. The correct bid, surprisingly, is a weak jump shift in clubs! The full hand:

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: K

	ClassAct A Q J 2 10 4 3 A J 8 6 3 4
jrp 10 4 A 8 6 5 K Q 10 9 7 5 A		Maestro 9 8 5 3 9 2 2 10 9 8 6 5 2
	a-yummy K 7 6 K Q J 7 4 K Q J 7 3

West
1

Pass
Pass

North
Pass
Dbl

East
3

Pass

South
Pass
Pass

The strategy of the club bid may not be readily apparent. E/W are vulnerable. West’s opening bid means N/S probably have no slam and may not even have a game. You know the minors break badly. You even have a decent lead, your stiff diamond, against North, the likely declarer if you pass.

Now let’s take the expert view. A stiff in your partner’s suit means you can probably ruff a lot of diamonds. That gives your hand a lot more playing value. The club suit looks weak at first, but its excellent texture guarantees that N/S won’t be able to cash more than three or four trump winners. The preempt makes it more difficult for N/S to find their best fit and more likely that they will settle, sub-optimally, for penalties. And best of all, the stronger declarer will be playing the hand.

At the table N/S, denied crucial bidding room, are indeed forced to settle for penalties. Against 3CX South leads the HK. Gee wins and leads another heart, won by South, who leads a low club, killing the last entry to dummy. Trouble is, there aren’t too many entries to his hand, either. Gee ruffs a heart for his third trick, and later gets a fourth when the defenders cash the top trumps instead of promoting their C7 by playing diamonds through three times.

Yet some people just can’t see beyond the specific result: Gee’s partner, for instance, who after the hand bluntly refers to 3C as a “shit bid.” “Not really,” says Gee. “Might have avoided a slam, but even if I pass you go to 2D. Which is hardly better.”

Risk/Reward

Sep 152002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: 2

	wzheng Q 8 7 6 3 2 Q J 8 6 A 6 2
tahirb A K 3 K J 7 3 2 K J 10 7 4		wildcats J 10 9 5 4 10 4 Q 9 4 A 8 5
	Maestro K A 9 7 5 2 10 8 6 5 Q 9 3

West

1
3
Pass
Pass

North

2
Pass
Pass
Pass

East

Pass
4
Rdbl

South
Pass
Pass
Dbl
Pass

I have emphasized in this column many times the importance of judgment in expert play. A rule that an STCP™ might treat as an iron law is, for experts, a mere heuristic. Like the rule that you’re not supposed to be double a part-score at IMPs if you expect to beat it only one or two at the most. Nonsense. Real experts pay no mind to that sissy stuff.

Like many thrilling adventures today’s auction begins in deceptive calm. West opens a normal 1D and North makes a normal, non-vulnerable weak 2S overcall opposite a passed hand. This is passed back to West, who reopens with 3C with his excellent two-suiter. East, holding too little to bid the first time but too much to take a simple diamond preference, invites with 4D. Once again it’s up to our hero.

Gee holds one certain defensive trick, HA, and a half trick or so in each of the other three suits. His partner has promised nothing on defense. E/W may yet bid 5D. The cowardly intermediate would pass and await developments. The courageous expert, trusting his defense and table feel, seizes the moment and doubles. East reseizes the moment and redoubles.

North leads the S2. West wins the SA, and a low trump brings the stiff DA. A heart is returned — nothing else helps — and it’s a simple matter, on the bidding, to guess the location of the CQ for the overtrick. Our hero is unlucky again: if North had held a small diamond instead of the stiff ace, then the strategic double of 4D would have kept E/W out of a cold diamond slam. What’s that I hear my expert readers saying? If East had held the DA he wouldn’t have passed the 2S bid? 4DXX making 6 scores more than 6D anyway? Oh. Right. Never mind.

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