Aaron Haspel – Page 16 – The Gee Chronicles

Aaron Haspel

Oct 012002
 

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: SA

oguz
S 8
H 7 3
D A K J 2
C K Q 8 7 6 4
gandolfo
S A K J 6 2
H K 8 6 5 2
D 7
C A J
[W - E] Maestro
S 10 9 5 4 3
H A Q J
D 9 3
C 10 9 2
tony111
S Q 7
H 10 9 4
D Q 10 8 6 5 4
C 5 3
West

2 D
Pass
Pass

North
1 C
3 D
4 D
East
Pass
3 S
Pass
South
1 D
Pass
Pass

 

Today’s auction is interesting, in the sense of that Chinese curse about interesting times. After North’s 1C opener and Gee’s pass, South begins the frivolity with a 1D response. 2D seems to me an apter description of the South hand, especially at favorable vulnerability, but a few months of writing this column have shown me that all I know, like Socrates, is that I know nothing.

West bids 2D, Michaels, to show his strong 5-5 hand. This looks best. Doubling, which is also possible, would not convey the distribution as well, while a sandwich 1NT or unusual 2NT would imply less high card strength.

The sequence of bids that follow 2D is disturbing. If you have a weak stomach, turn away now: go read the Honor Roll or Dr. Robert or something. First North’s 3D. Now if South had bid 2D, as he should, then North would have an easy raise to five at the vulnerability. He should probably bid 5D even so; it’s clear on the auction that E/W have an immense major-suit fit somewhere. However, he contents himself with 3D, and back we come to our hero.

Some players excite themselves at the prospect of a ten-card fit with an eight-carder on the side, but Gee keeps a cool head. After all, if the West hand is KJxxx Kxxxx xx x, then no game can make. Although West, with such a hand, has no business forcing his passed partner to bid with both unlimited at unfavorable vulnerability, experts like Gee can’t afford to depend on their partners to bid correctly. Sure, game is cold if West has anything like what he says has, and even slam makes on some West hands (like, for instance, the actual one); but why take a chance? Gee chooses a judicious 3S and awaits developments.

South’s pass is remarkable in its own right. His partner has shown nine or more cards in the minors. The opponents must have at least a nine-card spade fit. He has no defense and a known ten-card diamond fit. The vulnerability is favorable. If you won’t sac now, then when, O Lord?

West, in his turn, declines to bid, vulnerable at IMPs, what has to be at least a 50% spade game. And now Gee’s decision to wait pays off, as North gives him another chance by not passing out 3S. And not bidding 5C, giving his partner a choice of minor suit games. And not even bidding 5D. No, North bids 4D.

Gee finds the only way to cap this bidding sequence, by passing.

Down 1 for 50 won’t stack up too well at IMPs against a vulnerable slam, but why stop there? West opens the SA, and Gee carefully discourages with the 3. With a stiff in dummy the S10 would ask for a heart shift, but sometimes even great players forget that their lesser partners need help to read the cards as well as they do. West should probably find the heart anyway, but instead he shifts to the CA, then a trump, and sayonara. Making 5 for 150.

“I bid, did not I?” Gee asks after the hand. His partner does not reply.

Sep 302002
 

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: SA

wzheng
S 10 9 5
H Q 10 9 7 3
D 6 5 3
C 7 3
xylene
S A
H K 5
D K 10 9 8 4 2
C J 10 5 2
[W - E] deeper
S J 7 4 3 2
H A 8 6 4 2
D A 7
C 4
Maestro
S K Q 8 6
H J
D Q J
C A K Q 9 8 6
West

2 D
Pass
Dbl

North

Pass
Pass
Pass

East
Pass
Pass
3 D
Pass
South
1 C
3 C
4 C
Pass

 

STCPs™ must never bid the same hand twice. Experts, however, may bid the same hand as often as they like.

Gee, South, kicks things off today with a first-hand 1C opener. West overcalls a “weak” 2D, which has the advantage of showing her actual six diamonds and the disadvantage of understating her hand by about an ace and a queen. 2D is passed back to Gee, who holds seven probable offensive tricks and not much defense and makes a reasonable 3C bid. This in turn rolls around to East. She holds two sure defensive tricks and knows clubs are breaking badly. The Law of Total Tricks says to pass in such situations, and that’s what I would do. East wisely chooses 3D instead, giving Gee another chance to bid.

The “Law” is another one of those petty rules that experts can safely ignore. North rates to have two clubs, three diamonds — if East had three she would probably raise immediately — and a defensive trick or two, which means 3D is likely down. In fact 3D makes, even on the best defense of a trump lead and continuation, because of the miraculous trump layout and the fact that E/W bid their hands…eccentrically, let’s say. Sensing the impending danger of -110, Gee once again puts his inimitable table feel to work and bids 4C.

West doubles. The normal result is down 3, but we reach it by an unexpected route. West chooses the worst possible lead of the SA, selling out the spade position for the sake of a ruff with her natural trump trick. She shifts to D10; East goes up with the DA and returns a spade. Gee now makes the key play, shrewdly inserting the SK. Although this is not a zero percent play — it wins in the unlikely event that West led the ace holding the jack — there is, in Gee’s defense, no zero play available. In any case West ruffs, cashes the DK, and leads a third round of diamonds, which Gee ruffs.

Gee can now pull the rest of the trump but with no entry to dummy he must concede another spade and we’re back, again, to down 3.

Ah, Gee! Ah, humanity!

Sep 302002
 

Dear Dr. Robert:

When watching Gerard I have heard some spectators refer to his “paranoia” and others to his “delusions of grandeur.” I’m confused. Can one have both at once? If not, who is right? I await the diagnosis of a trained medical professional.

–S.F., Vienna, Austria

Dude,

Do I have to explain everything to you? Consulting the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth ed. ( DSM-IV), we find the following:

Paranoid perceptions and behavior may appear as features of a number of mental illnesses, including depression and dementia, but are most prominent in three types of psychological disorders: paranoid schizophrenia, delusional disorder (persecutory type), and paranoid personality disorder (PPD). Individuals with paranoid schizophrenia and persecutory delusional disorder experience what is known as persecutory delusions: an irrational, yet unshakable, belief that someone is plotting against them. Persecutory delusions in paranoid schizophrenia are bizarre, sometimes grandiose, and often accompanied by auditory hallucinations. Delusions experienced by individuals with delusional disorder are more plausible than those experienced by paranoid schizophrenics; not bizarre, though still unjustified. Individuals with delusional disorder may seem offbeat or quirky rather than mentally ill, and, as such, may never seek treatment.

“Sometimes grandiose”: that enough for you? The manual continues:

Persons with paranoid personality disorder tend to be self-centered, self-important, defensive, and emotionally distant. Their paranoia manifests itself in constant suspicions rather than full-blown delusions. The disorder often impedes social and personal relationships and career advancement. Some individuals with PPD are described as “litigious,” as they are constantly initiating frivolous law suits. PPD is more common in men than in women, and typically begins in early adulthood. Symptoms include:

  • Suspicious; unfounded suspicions; believes others are plotting against him/her
  • Preoccupied with unsupported doubts about friends or associates
  • Reluctant to confide in others due to a fear that information may be used against him/her
  • Reads negative meanings into innocuous remarks
  • Bears grudges
  • Perceives attacks on his/her reputation that are not clear to others, and is quick to counterattack

Spectators at Gerard’s table may find this list familiar. Although treatment is available, the Manual cautions that it “is difficult because the person’s traits make it difficult to form a professional relationship. The health care provider should respect interpersonal distance, and avoid defensiveness or attempts at humor.” You people on the honor roll, are you listening? No attempts at humor. Didn’t your parents teach you any manners at all?

Sep 292002
 

Let’s play along with the experts. At favorable vulnerability, you hold S Q H K J 10 9 6 D Q 7 5 C K 9 7 6. RHO opens 1D in first seat. You venture a 1H overcall, and lefty bids 1S. Your partner passes, righty raises to 2S, and lefty raises to game. Two passes to you. Your call.

You passed? Nice try. The winning action is to double! Sure, it looks like you hold, opposite a mute partner, one defensive trick, maybe one and a half. But that fails to account for the stiff trump queen, which is a potent weapon opposite partner’s K109xx. You think it’s impossible for partner to hold five spades when the opponents have shown at least eight and you have one yourself? Think again, hombre: it’s called table feel. These are the actual hands.

N/S Vul
MPs
Dealer: South
Lead: H8

kash
S A J 4 3
H A Q 7 5
D 10 6 3
C 5 2
Maestro
S Q
H K J 10 9 6
D Q 7 5
C K 9 7 6
[W - E] shyuhy
S K 10 9 5 2
H 8 2
D K 9 8
C J 8 3
a-yummy
S 8 7 6
H 4 3
D A J 4 2
C A Q 10 4
West

1 H
Pass
Dbl

North

1 S
4 S
Pass

East

Pass
Pass
Pass

South
1 D
2 S
Pass
Pass

500 of course wins all of the matchpoints. The STCP™ can complain all he likes that North’s bid shows five spades, not four, that South’s opener is dubious in the first place, that North’s raise to game is also questionable, that if either North or South has her bid the spade game is cold, and that if both of them have it there are probably overtricks. There is no substitute for expert psychological insight. Shyuhy, at least, understands the fundamental truth, that the good bid is the bid that produces a good result. “Nice double,” he says to Gee after the hand. “Thanks,” replies Gee modestly.

Sep 282002
 

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: C8

deebee
S K Q 10 8 7 5 4
H 9
D J 7 5
C 5 4
giajen
S 2
H Q J 7 6
D Q 6 3 2
C A K 10 6
[W - E] zl1
S J 6 3
H 10 8 5 4 3
D 10 8 4
C 8 7
Maestro
S A 9
H A K 2
D A K 9
C Q J 9 3 2
West

Pass
Dbl
Pass
Pass

North

2 S
4 S
5 D
Pass

East

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

South
1 C
3 C
4NT
5 S

A distinguishing feature of the expert is that he is at home in many bidding systems, adjusting to his partner’s wishes instead of forcing her to adjust to his. So it is with Gee, who plays Standard American, 2 over 1, Precision, Nightmare and many other systems with equal dexterity.

Consider, for instance, today’s Precision auction. Gee’s 1C opener shows any hand with 16 plus points, and North’s 2S reply shows 6-8 points and six spades or more. Back to Gee. Now I know what you STCP™s are thinking: place the contract! 29 points at most in the two hands combined. Two likely club losers, maybe a spade as well. Bid 4S and let it go at that. (In Gee’s case, 3NT, to right-side the hand.)

You poor saps. Don’t you know that 3C is correct here? Where is the sense in settling for an eight-card major suit fit when an eight- or even a nine-card fit may be available in a minor? Note also that 3C gives West a chance to get himself in deep trouble, of which he promptly avails himself by doubling.

3CXX is the winning contract. But North can’t bid it with two small clubs, and she can’t pass with all of her values in a seven-card spade suit; her hand could easily be worthless in anything but spades. She makes the fine choice of signing off in 4S. Gee launches Blackwood. Surely he does not expect his partner to hold the club ace; otherwise what is West doubling on? Perhaps he imagines a North hand like KQxxxxx Qx xxx x. Here 6S would be almost cold. I should note, to be fair, that in this case the Blackwood response would impart nothing useful: real experts are undeterred by such difficulties. North dutifully reports her single key card and Gee, trusting his table feel, signs off in 5S instead of bidding the slam.

East leads a club as instructed, and West cashes the ace and king and fires a third round through declarer. She ruffs high with SQ and can still make (if only Gee were declaring!) by taking a first-round finesse with S9. Instead she plays for the drop and goes down 1. Even an expert auction can be undone by bad declarer play.

Sep 282002
 

“We don’t use what is called count and attitude…we don’t lead 4th best nor 3/5th and any of these things.”

—describing his version of Roman leads and discards

 Permalink  September 28, 2002  No Responses »

Sep 282002
 

Dear Dr. Robert:

You’re playing OKB 2/1 with Gee, holding Kx xx Qxx AQJxxx. Gee opens 1D first seat. The auction continues pass, 2C (from you, game-forcing), 2H overcall to your left. Gee bids 2NT. What does it show?

–M.D.W., Toronto, Canada

Dear Mr. Principle,

The auction you refer to, 1D-P-2C-2H-2NT, has several possible interpretations when bid by Gerard. The first, and likeliest, is natural, but without implying a heart stopper. Stoppers are for bathtubs and wine bottles. It makes no sense for Gee to confine the advantages of having himself declare, and discouraging a heart lead, to hands with an actual heart holding.

2NT could also be unusual for the suits unbid by your side (spades and hearts in this case) and thus a 4441 hand; or unusual for the two lowest suits and thus a 2155 hand; or just asking for more information from the crew (you). Now let’s consider your rebid. Ignore the fact that you’ve already forced to game: it is a well-accepted principle in captaincy theory that the crew can only force the captain by bidding a new suit. Therefore, to force Gerard to bid and not miss a good 1100, you must bid the only new suit there is, 3S. Remember, 3H would not be forcing: it’s not a new suit. If you’re still confused, what are you waiting for? Order your copy of Bridge Is a Conversation today!

Sep 272002
 

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: HQ

davekent
S A K 4 3 2
H K 6
D J 9 4
C A J 7
wildcats
S 10 9 8
H 7 2
D K Q 10 7 2
C K 4 3
[W - E] lawjon
S Q
H A 10 5
D A 8 6 3
C Q 9 6 5 2
Maestro
S J 7 6 5
H Q J 9 8 4 3
D 5
C 10 8
West

Pass
Dbl
Pass

North

1NT
Pass
Pass

East
Pass
Pass
3 D
Pass
South
Pass
2 D
Dbl

How long must an STCP™ study to acquaint himself with the darker recesses of the expert mind? Longer than I have. A lot longer.

The partnership of davekent, North, and Gee, South, returns for today’s hand, from the same session as yesterday’s. I understand the bidding up to a point. 1NT is normal. The 2D transfer is normal. The double is risky — for all West knows N/S make 2DXX — but within the range of normality.

North’s pass of the double shows exactly two hearts; he would accept the transfer with three or more. (This sequence, at Gee tables, has been discussed.) East holds a powerful offensive hand after his partner’s double. Many players would bid 4D, but East, who is sure he can beat 3NT but not at all sure he can beat 4H, bids 3D instead, which looks pretty good to me. Certainly one can’t quarrel with the results.

Gee now doubles. I can work out four possible meanings for this bid:
1. Penalty. He has a game-going hand with some diamond strength and is trying to smoke out East’s bogus two-card raise.
2. Takeout for the other suits. He has a weak distributional hand, something like 4-5-0-4.
3. A retransfer.
4. SashaA is in spec, causing Gee’s hand to shake and making him mismouse.

North chooses option 1, penalty, and passes. The play isn’t cheap either. Declarer wins Gee’s HQ lead with the ace, plays two rounds of trump, and leads a low club to the queen, which holds but leaves him with two club losers. North wins the club continuation and leads a low spade, allowing East to make his stiff queen, and then continues spades when he gets in with CA, allowing him to dump his heart loser on the long clubs. Some might argue that -1070 merits a sticks and wheels logo, but we shall stickle for the formalities.

For those of you wondering what the double was, exactly, Gee clears it up in the post mortem, after a fashion:

G: Sorry Dave.. I did not want to play that 2H contract… my hand too bad and yours too good
Spec #1: huh?
Spec #2: his hand too bad to play 2H?
Spec #3: As I said, “if you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, baffle ’em with bullshit”
Spec #4: the dbl was a re-xfer
Spec #5: how about Dr. Robert? is he still on the ship?
Spec #6: all I know is that I am turning blue and going into rigor mortis
Spec #1: if someone comprehends that please explain it to me?
Spec #7: Dr. R in drunken stupor
davekent: I still have no idea what you meant by the double
lawjon: retransfer maybe
Spec #8: Tell Us G
Spec #6: maybe it was a checkback stayman double? Spec #9: for the other three suits?
G: was re-transfer
davekent: hehe – you are kidding i hope?
Spec #4: and we have a winner!
lawjon: you shd have alerted it to dave
Spec #1: when do you let partner know Ds are trumps?
G: no, I am not… I had 6 of them hearts
Spec #6: poor dave
Spec #8: oh my
Spec #3: lololol
Spec #9: Dave is being very stalwart in the face of adversity

Sep 262002
 

Yes, I have at last decided on a Bones Principle logo winner. It is Doug Ross, for this:

Which will now appear on all Bones Principle hands. Our readers will finally get to see what a two-logo hand really looks like. Doug will win, besides everlasting glory, whatever it was I decided to give away, whenever I get around to sending it. The entries were excellent, as ever, and I should note especially the runner-up, from a modest reader:

Thanks to all participants.

Sep 262002
 

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: HK

davekent
S 4
H 8 6 5 4 3
D J 6 5
C K Q 6 5
marciam
S K J 8 6
H K 2
D Q 9 8
C A 9 7 2
[W - E] janet
S 10 7
H A J 9 7
D A 10 2
C J 10 8 3
Maestro
S A Q 9 5 3 2
H Q 10
D K 7 4 3
C 4
West

Pass
Pass
Pass

North
Pass
1NT
Pass
Pass
East
Pass
Pass
Dbl
South
1 S
2 S
Pass

 

Today we have a rarity in the Chronicles, a normal auction. Gee’s hand is not nearly as bad as some that are opened routinely by experts these days, yesterday’s 1D for instance, and in third seat opening 1S mandatory. North’s 1NT is absolutely standard, as is Gee’s 2S reply. East makes a thin but plausible balancing double vulnerable; E/W could easily have a nine-card fit somewhere. Admittedly West’s penalty pass has a faint hint of Bones Principle about it. Still, it wasn’t alerted, as it must be in that case, and 2S seems a pretty big favorite to go down at least 1.

One can certainly envision this auction at another table. Then there’s the play.

West leads the HK, best for the defense, and continues hearts to East’s ace. A third round of hearts is led, and Gee makes the expert loser-on-loser play of discarding his stiff club, preserving trump control in dummy to ruff the sixth round of hearts. (West also sluffs a club.)

East shrugs and leads another heart. Gee with admirable consistency discards a diamond. (The whole obstinate line markedly resembles the 2HX hand from last week on which Gee achieved sticks and wheels in defiance of any rational expectation. A close comparison of the two will reward the reader.) A club shift brings another small diamond from Gee, as West wins the CA. She shifts to diamonds, East winning DA. Six tricks are in for the defense and no trump have been pulled.

East leads another diamond, and finally, finally Gee gets in with the DK. His low trump is ducked around to East’s S7, and Gee must still lose two more trump tricks to West’s KJx for sticks and wheels. So it turns out that Bones didn’t have very long to wait after all. Which is nice.