Absolute Zero

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: 3

	nspi 9 7 5 A K J 4 2 K 7 2 6 4
tiger A 6 3 2 Q 9 3 10 6 4 J 8 3		vcaracci K 4 10 7 Q J 9 3 A 10 9 5 2
	Maestro Q J 10 8 8 6 5 A 8 5 K Q 7

West Pass Pass Pass Pass

North Pass 1 2 3NT

East Pass Pass Pass Pass

South 1 1 2NT Pass

An absolute zero — a play that always fails, on any distribution — is surprisingly difficult to achieve. Even a master often manages, if only accidentally, to find a line that wins some of the time.

Gee, South, reaches a thin notrump game after a rather ambitious fourth suit forcing bid and notrump raise by North. A diamond lead turns out to be best for the defense, and is a decent choice given the artificial 2D bid, but West chooses H3.

Two tricks at most are available in either black suit, and with a diamond shift obviously forthcoming declarer won’t have time to play on both. Since spades are certain to set up for two tricks they seem the obvious choice. It follows, of course that the entire heart suit has to come in. Declarer is down if the H3 is from four or a stiff; he must decide whether Qxx is more likely than either 10xx or 9xx and play accordingly.

The actual play goes, at first, according to plan. Gee wins the HA, postponing the heart decision (East drops the H7), and plays a spade. East flies the SK and shifts, as expected, to a diamond. Gee wins on board, West playing D4, and leads another spade. It does West no good to duck; he wins the SA and leads D10, which East allows to ride to Gee’s DA. (Ducking doesn’t help declarer either. Diamonds clearly break 4-3, or East would overtake the D10, but a heart loser would still be at least five tricks for the defense.)

It looks like time to guess hearts. No, Gee leads the king of clubs. Naturally the defense wins the CA and cashes two diamond tricks for down 1. When I first read this hand I was sure this was an absolute zero, but I was wrong. If West started with 10x in diamonds and the CA, and East erred by failing to overtake the D10 with QJ9xx, and Gee guesses the hearts correctly, he can still make. So you see, absolute zero is nearly as difficult to achieve at the bridge table as it is in nature. You just have to keep at it.