Mar 222003
 

Dear Dr. Robert,

Why won’t Gerard cut his hair? Does he believe, like Samson, that it is the real source of his bridge ability?

Confused in Canaan

Dear Delilah,

On the contrary. His table feel is so precise and sensitive that if he didn’t maintain some sort of blocking device around his eyes, he would always deduce the cards of each opponent from their mannerisms, pupil dilation, breathing patterns, and general behavior. Think of the parents who always know when their kid is perpetrating mischief just around the corner.

Of course there are the aesthetic considerations. My coiffe consultant says: “It screams so many things at me! It’s a little mad scientist and a little nutty professor, a little Medusa and a little Helen of Troy. It says ‘Look at me!’ with one breath and ‘Go away!’ with the next. Your friend Gerard is lookin’ fine!” I can add only that, speaking personally, I think it’s dead sexy. Grrroowwwlllll…ahem, that will be all for today.

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