Aaron Haspel

More Mystic Visions

Aug 162002

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: 3

	tsen A Q J 9 3 2 3 J 7 5 8 4 3
Maestro 5 9 8 7 A Q 4 3 A K Q 6 2		taryk 10 7 6 4 J 5 2 K 10 8 J 10 9
	icaros K 8 A K Q 10 6 4 9 6 2 7 5

West

2
3
Pass
Pass

North

Dbl
Pass
Dbl

East

Pass
5
Pass

South
1

Pass
Pass

Visions, as any visionary will tell you, arrive on their schedule, not yours. This led to disaster in today’s hand.

After South’s 1H opener our hero has choices. Some players, holding such good minor suits, would bid unusual 2NT, despite being 1-3-4-5, for its preemptive value. 2NT works out well on the actual layout, as the subsequent auction is probably 3S, all pass, down 1. But 2NT could also work out badly, and 2C, Gee’s actual bid, is perfectly fine. North makes a rather eccentric negative double; other possibilities are 2S, or even a semi-preemptive 3S if the partnership plays 2S there, as is customary, as a forcing bid.

East passes, South rebids his hearts, and it’s up to Gee. He has defense but should be willing to compete, even at unfavorable, to least the three-level in the minors. A modestly gifted visionary would double for minor-suit takeout. (E/W make three of either minor, and N/S can’t make more than two of anything.) But Gee is cursed with an untimely moment of blindness: he bids 3D, forcing his partner to take a club preference, if he needs one, at the four-level.

Naturally partner takes the club preference — in spades, as it were. The less said about the 5C bid the better, but the 4C bid he should have made doesn’t work out too well either.

When play begins Gee, too late, regains his vatic powers. As South cashes his second heart, dummy undummies: “Down 2.” “OK,” Tsen replies, “diamonds 3-3.” “Automatic down 2,” Gee insists, “even if diamonds are 4-2.”

This puzzles Tsen, who like most of us is not blessed with the ability to see through the backs of the cards. “If diamonds are 4-2,” he says, “I will ruff.”

“If you have any trump left,” says Gee. “Which you won’t.”

Update: My distinguished expert consultants, O_Bones and dross, inform me — but nicely! — that I’ve butchered this analysis. Although they agree with me that 2NT is a reasonable compromise bid the first time around, they think a double on the second round suggests three good or even four bad spades, i.e., three-suit takeout, not the minors. 2NT is their suggested rebid, even though it’s supposed to show 4-6. They also both agree with taryk’s 5C bid. Since Gee’s 3D bid should show a huge 5-6 hand, 5C looks, from East’s perspective, like a reasonable proposition.

Mystic Visions

Aug 152002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: 3

	mico K 9 K 9 7 6 3 Q 9 7 Q 7 3
altaya Q J 8 7 6 4 5 2 8 4 8 6 4		Maestro A 2 A J 8 4 A 10 5 2 A J 2
	hsherif 10 5 3 Q 10 K J 6 3 K 10 9 5

West

Pass
2
Pass
Pass

North

1
Pass
Pass
Pass

East

1NT
3NT
Rdbl

South
Pass
Dbl
Dbl
Pass

Many qualities distinguish the expert from the ordinary player, and imagination is not the least of them. The expert will often bid contracts undreamt of by the Small Time Club Player™ because of his almost extrasensory ability to visualize the other hands.

Today, for example, Gee, sitting East, has a very solid 1NT overcall of North’s rather shabby third-hand heart opener. South doubles to show a competitive hand, and West bids 2H, transferring to spades. This is passed to Gee. You would accept the transfer. I would accept the transfer. Gee is blinded by a vision of runnable spades in dummy and bids 3NT.

South does not share the vision and doubles. The doubt of the world is but confirmation to the prophet: Gee redoubles. One may ask why West doesn’t pull to 4S, but you aren’t supposed to yank your partner’s business redouble, and if Gee holds, say, Kxxx AQ A10xx AJx, then 3NTXX probably rolls in while 4S has no chance. So West lets the redouble stick.

The intensity of a vision, alas, does not guarantee its accuracy. Gee makes the HJ along with his four aces, for -1600. His partner inquires in the post mortem what induced him to bid 3NT. “If you have KQxxx of spades,” says Gee, “then 3NT is cold.” (Actually there are still only eight tricks on the actual diamond lead, even if spades break, provided South discards carefully.) Gee’s partner wants to know what happens if spades don’t happen to be 3-3. No problem, Gee says, 3NT makes anyway. There has always been a fine line, the historians of religion tell us, between mystic vision and hallucination, and here, perhaps, we have crossed it.

Aug 142002

Gee was wondering the other day how I knew what was going on at his table when I wasn’t there myself. Well, you know how, when you watch the news on TV, you find out about things that happen in faraway places, even though you weren’t there, because the nice TV reporters explain it to you and show you pictures and stuff? Same thing.

Modern Bridge Conventions

Aug 142002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: 3

	goal Q 6 3 J 6 3 3 J 10 9 6 4 3
janiner 8 5 4 10 8 4 2 A J 10 8 A 5		Maestro A K A K Q 5 K Q 9 6 4 K 2
	zow J 10 9 7 2 9 7 7 5 2 Q 8 7

West

Pass
4

North

3
Pass

East

Dbl
Pass

South
Pass
4

Pass

I have often heard Gee accused of underbidding, often of overbidding. This misses the point. Gee is, on average, an accurate bidder. The scatterplot, however, is rather widely dispersed.

Today, as East, he holds a two-loser moose and doubles North’s grungy third-hand 3C preempt. South raises to 4C, although it looks like E/W are cold for slam and an obstreperous raise to 5C seems warranted. A 5C bid would tempt me to double with West’s hand, making it far more difficult to find the heart grand. (5CX is down 5 automatically and down 6 with perfect defense.) But over 4C West naturally bids the heart game and North passes, leaving matters up to our hero.

Fortunately a modern convention has been devised to help him find the right contract here. It’s called Blackwood. If West shows one ace you bid six; if she shows two you bid the grand. It is also barely possible that West holds something like Qxx J109xxxx x Qx, in which case you sign off in 5H.

I forgot to mention that you can pass too. Which is what he does.

For the less mathematical of my readers, who may not know about scatterplot dispersions, perhaps a homelier analogy will serve. If you have one arm in freezing and the other in scalding water, you’re comfortable. On average.

Off With My Head

Aug 132002

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: A

	taryk K Q 7 6 3 — K 9 8 3 K 10 8 6
gv_roma 10 9 8 4 Q 3 2 Q J 2 Q 9 4		lulu A J 5 2 A K J 9 7 5 J 7 5
	Maestro — 10 8 6 5 4 A 10 7 6 4 A 3 2

West

2
Pass

North

Dbl

East
1

Pass

South
Pass
Pass

I’m getting kind of tired of sticks & wheels, aren’t you? Let’s try some defense today for variety.

Gee, sitting South, passes over 1H, and hears lefty raise to 2H and his partner double. This is a wet dream of an auction. Matching major-suit voids, as East-West are marked for the missing eight hearts, and a virtually guaranteed nine-card diamond fit. Five diamonds must be cold. Six diamonds is likely to have an excellent play; and even a diamond grand is possible if North holds something like Axxx — KQxx KQxxx.

A 3H cue bid seems indicated; or if not that, then something forcing, anything forcing. Gee passes for penalty. That last sentence deserves a paragraph to itself.

Gee passes for penalty.

There is only one possible way to follow a bid like that, and Gee finds it. He leads the CA, his partner signals with C8, and Gee plays a second round to North’s CK, declarer dropping CJ. North returns the SK, covered with SA and ruffed by Gee.

At this point the hand is almost an open book. Declarer must have four spades; with 5-5 in the majors and a minimum she would have opened 1S. Therefore she is either 4-5-2-2 or 4-5-1-3. The only missing honors are the SJ and the DK. If North doubled with eight HCP — rather unlikely, even at favorable and with perfect distribution — then you aren’t beating the contract anyway; declarer will get time to sluff two spade losers (in this scenario North holds SJ) on the spare minor suit winners. So you underlead the DA for your second spade ruff, right? Nah. You play the DA and another. Declarer ruffs the second diamond, pulls trump and claims.

Whose fault is this catastrophe? Gee explains his failure to underlead the DA as follows: “[It is] the play I would normally do, but I dare not anymore because if it does not work, aaron will kill me again, like he does each time I play an uncommon play and it does not work.”

You know those dictators-in-exile who are always getting sentenced in absentia by some toothless international court while they’re tanning on their hacienda in Uruguay? Today I feel a little like that. Could you rub on a little more sunscreen, sweetheart? You missed a spot.

Son of Trump Management

Aug 122002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 8

	jhemmer A Q 6 5 A 8 4 2 8 3 A Q 7
Maestro K 10 2 Q J 10 3 K K 9 8 6 3		justinl — K 9 7 A Q J 10 6 5 4 J 4 2
	danb J 9 8 7 4 3 6 5 9 7 2 10 5

West

1
3
4
Pass

North

Dbl
3
Dbl

East
1

Rdbl
4

Pass

South
Pass
2

Pass
Pass

In an earlier installment we had a demonstration of how to get tapped in a 5-3 fit. Today we have another rare variation: getting tapped by discarding your stopper in the suit.

East’s redouble is support, showing exactly three hearts; and South’s jump to 2S is preemptive. North raises to 3S over Gee’s 3C, and East rebids his diamonds at the four-level. 4D makes without any trouble, except on an unlikely club lead, but Gee, aware of his sure touch in Moysians, corrects to 4H. The spade game also makes, extremely luckily, for N/S, with the trump and diamond finesses both on; but North wisely opts for the certain plus by doubling.

North leads the D8, best for the defense, and here we should pause to consider how the play might proceed in a parallel universe of accurate declaring. The bidding and opening lead indicate that North is 4-4-2-3 with all three aces. Declarer plays three rounds of diamonds, discarding a spade and club. North’s best play is to discard a spade on the third round, retaining trump control. A fourth round of diamonds is ruffed by South and overruffed by declarer with the 10. North must refuse to overruff and discard a club. Now South plays a heart to dummy, ducked by North, and a fifth round of diamonds, which South can no longer ruff, discarding a club. North ruffs in and plays a low heart back, but eventually is endplayed in the black suits for down 1. (Update: My original analysis was wrong. Thanks to Ira Chorush for this improved version.)

In the actual universe the play goes somewhat differently. Gee wins in dummy and plays two rounds of trump ending in dummy, North correctly ducking. Now Gee shifts to diamonds. He discards a spade on the first round. He discards a spade on the second round. North ruffs in, cashes the trump ace, cashes the SA, dropping Gee’s now-bare SK, and leads another spade. Gee could hold it to down 4 by ruffing the fourth round of spades, and leading a low club, forcing North to concede a club trick. Instead he ruffs immediately and leads a club into North’s tenace. Down 5, not vulnerable. And you know what that means.

Aug 112002

“Well well well you’re feeling fine…”

Dr. Robert is a graduate of the College of Medicine of the University of Guatemala and holds a master’s degree in sports medicine from UCLA. He is board-certified in Ecuador and licensed to practice in Uruguay, Mexico, and several Caribbean islands. Although Dr. Robert is a highly trained professional, he urges you to consult your own physician before acting on any medical advice offered here.

Life Lessons

Aug 112002

E/W Vul
MPs
Dealer: West
Lead: 3

	Maestro 10 6 4 4 3 Q 8 3 2 K Q 8 3
celery A J 7 Q A K 9 5 4 A 7 5 2		evaofny Q 8 2 K J 9 8 10 6 J 9 6 4
	peterw K 9 5 3 A 10 7 6 5 2 J 7 10

West
1

2NT
Pass

North
Pass
Pass
Pass

East
1

3NT
Pass

South
Pass
Pass

Gee is partnering a student in today’s hand, from which we can now all learn, right along with peterw.

Today a reasonable auction leads to a terrible contract, which happens surprisingly often. 2NT, with 18 points and a stiff honor in partner’s suit, is West’s best rebid, and one can hardly blame East for raising to game with seven points and excellent spot cards.

Gee, sitting North, gets the defense off to a good start by leading the C3. Declarer inserts the C9, which seems best, and wins South’s 10 with the ace.

At this point the only faint hope for nine tricks is that both minor suits break. West leads the HQ, which is ducked, and continues with a low diamond to dummy’s 10. South wins the DJ and returns his last diamond. Declarer rises with the DK and plays two more rounds of diamonds, the last won by Gee with the queen. South sluffs two small hearts high-low, signaling an even count and declarer discards a heart and then, under pressure, a club from dummy, setting up three club tricks for our hero.

Three clubs and two diamonds beat 3NT. Or so the inferior player might reason. Even a garden-variety expert might cash the three clubs and allow his partner to discard to give a picture of his hand. Gee, however, shifts to a spade. South does well by inserting the S9, and declarer wins the SJ.

Declarer now cashes his last diamond and exits with a club. It’s still not too late to cash the setting tricks in clubs, lead a heart, and beat the contract two. Gee opts instead to win one club trick and lead a heart, endplaying his partner. This is indeed a lesson of sorts: my mother used to call it a “life-lesson.” Poor South bared his HA on the club — yes, he should have sluffed a spade — and is forced to lead a spade, conceding three spades, two hearts, three diamonds and a club to declarer, for nine tricks.

“One of the things that bugs me,” Gee says after the hand, “is when some specs make statements like it’s cold, it’s not cold, etc. They see all the cards. We, at the table, don’t.”

2000: A Bridge Odyssey

Aug 102002

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: A

	ahmed1 K 6 5 K Q 7 10 9 A 9 5 3 2
kompot 3 10 9 6 4 J 7 6 2 Q 7 6 4		Maestro A Q 10 9 8 7 J 5 3 2 8 4 10
	brando J 4 2 A 8 A K Q 5 3 K J 8

West

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North

2
3
3
4NT
Pass

East
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
5

Pass

South
1

2NT
3

3NT
Dbl

On the hand before this one Gee opened 1C with a 14-point balanced hand; and kompot responded 1NT with Q10 72 A982 KQJ52. Naturally Gee passed: naturally 3NT was cold. (Kompot explained afterwards that, first, it was 7:30 in the morning in Russia; second, that he couldn’t remember what the forcing bid was over 1C; and third, that in desperation he opted for the “nearest notrump” theory.) Gee, showing the loyalty to and sympathy for his partner that has always distinguished him from the herd, immediately typed to the spectators (give or take a question mark), “And I am the one who is controversial?????????” But as we shall see, the Small Time Club Player™ gets mad; the expert gets mad and even.

Many players would open the East hand 2S; but Gee, holding four hearts, begins with a disciplined pass. This is an important lesson for intermediates. It is often more successful, or at least more amusing, especially when vulnerable, to delay bidding such hands until game level or above, giving the opponents as much time as possible to gauge their strength and find their fit.

N/S are playing a complex relay system whose intricacies need not concern us here. Suffice it to say that 2C is the only natural bid in the auction — until Gee chimes in 5S over 4NT. The third natural bid is South’s double, and there matters are allowed to stand. (It is only fair to note that 6C by North makes double dummy unless the defense opens with the SA and a ruff.)

Gee now decides he doesn’t really want to play 5S after all. “Andy [kompot],” he says, “play the hand for me…too many enemies at the table.” Then he leaves, reducing the count by one. Ten minutes and 2000 points later — another bad break: it could have been held to 1700 — Gee returns to the table, telling Andy that he bid 5S “out of spite,” to punish him for his 1NT bid on the previous hand. Well then. That’s certainly good enough for me.

Aug 092002

Today we really do have news. It turns out that Marilyn Monroe committed suicide because she was despondent over the fact that spectators laughed at her when she made mistakes playing online bridge. Her and so many others.

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