Aaron Haspel

In the Brig

Sep 142002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 2

	justinl K 10 7 3 2 A 10 8 A 9 5 J 6
pjm13 5 4 Q 7 4 2 J 3 2 9 8 5 4		moshel A 9 8 6 9 5 K Q 10 6 4 10 7
	Maestro Q J K J 6 3 8 7 A K Q 3 2

West

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North

1
3
4
6

East
Pass
2

Dbl
Pass
Pass

South
1

Pass

Today we feature Captain Gee and Seaman Lall, a partnership already well-known to our readers, in another scientific slam auction.

The trouble begins when Gee opens 1C instead of 1NT. Although hands with two doubletons often don’t play well in notrump, if you begin with 1C you have no adequate rebid over a 1S response, and it is a law of bridge that if there’s one response you can’t handle that’s the response you get.

In accordance with this principle the Seaman bids 1S. East overcalls 2D, and our hero has a problem. Lacking three spades he can’t double for support. Pass understates his hand. 3C overstates his clubs slightly but may be the least of the evils. Then there is 2H, the actual, forcing bid, suggesting 5-5 and a powerful hand.

North is happy to hear the 2H bid, with his excellent heart support and opening values, and cues his diamond ace. East doubles for a diamond lead, and our hero is again in a quandary. Can’t bid notrump with two dead diamonds. A belated spade raise is too risky; North might play the hand. Pass is possible, but where’s the fun in that? Now 3H, that’s a fun bid.

At this point Gee has opened clubs, rebid hearts, declined to support spades, declined to bid notrump, and showed a strong hand. So North knows he’s 5-5 at least, probably with something like Ax KQJxx x AQ10xx. He cues diamonds again to show first round control, Gee answers with 5C (what else can he bid by now?), and the Seaman, handling his unaccustomed role of captain with aplomb, confidently jumps to 6H.

Well. 6H does make double dummy on anything but a diamond lead. There are only two hitches: declarer isn’t playing double dummy, and West, as instructed, leads a diamond. Gee misguesses trump and winds up down 3, not that he had any hope of success on any line. The Seaman maintains a discreet silence after the hand. There are severe penalties for insubordination on the high seas.

Mothership Connection

Sep 132002

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: 4

	shark621 J 9 9 7 Q 10 7 6 3 10 7 6 5
mmbridge A 10 8 2 Q 6 K 5 4 Q J 8 2		bingo12 K 4 A K J 10 A J 9 8 K 9 3
	Maestro Q 7 6 5 3 8 5 4 3 2 2 A 4

West
1

Pass
Pass
Pass

North
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

East
1

Dbl
Dbl

South
2NT
3

Pass

After West’s normal 1C opener, East, holding a balanced 18, exactly the sort of hand on which 6NT usually fails to make against a minimum opener, temporizes with 1D. Gee, carefully noting his suit quality and one cashing trick, steps in with an unusual, a very unusual, 2NT. The vulnerability is favorable, and his partner, a passed hand, can be expected to hold zero defensive tricks, making the opponents cold for slam.

Remarkably enough, North actually does hold zero defensive tricks, and 6NT, although it is a distinct underdog, requiring six minor suit tricks, comes in on careful play.

Silly, stubborn E/W elect to defend instead. West passes his minimum, and poor North, with no major suit preference, or so he thinks, passes 2NT and hopes for something from East besides a double.

No dice of course. East, with his marginal slam hand, doubles for the certain profit, and Gee pulls to 3H. North can save 300, in theory, by taking a spade preference but in practice he has no bid.

West leads a low diamond against 3HX. The D8 holds, and East plays two rounds of trump and another diamond. Gee ruffs and tries a spade. East wins, pulls trump, and knocks out the CA, which is declarer’s last trick. Down 7.

“Even 1400 would have been good,” cries Gee. And of course he is right. Against the 30% 6NT, assuming E/W bid and make it, 1400 saves 40 points. If only, if only partner had corrected to 3S.

Question to Discuss
1. On this sort of hand, how many IMPs would you expect -1400 to cost? How about -1440?

In Defense of Gerard

Sep 122002

E/W Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: 2

	dickfu 7 K 8 7 5 3 Q 10 9 8 6 3 2
SKLai K 10 9 8 4 2 10 6 5 4 9 8 3		hubert Q 6 5 3 A Q 4 J A K Q 6 4
	Maestro A J J 9 2 A K 7 2 J 10 7 5

West

Pass
2
Pass

North

2
3
Pass

East

Dbl
4
Pass

South
1NT
Pass
Dbl

At the Chronicles we welcome dialogue and dissent. Today the noted expert shotgun, perhaps unaware that this entire site is a tribute, speaks up in defense of our hero. –Ed.

To all who have read the poison pen of Evil Aaron (E.A.), it is time for someone to speak in defense of the expert and gentleman Gerard Cohen (Gee). He is kind enough to let you spec him and learn from him. Yet some of you repay him by harassing him and making fun of him. My mama once said if you don’t have anything nice to say, you should not say anything at all. Also, to quote something else, he who hath never made a bad bid or play should cast the first aspersion. These Chronicles are merely a collection of some bad boards in Gee’s illustrious career as a teacher and a player on OKBridge. And even these are mainly his partner’s fault, along with some bad luck. Even players of Gee’s stature will take a zero now and then.

What E.A. has done is to collect all these bad results, without any acknowledgement of the thousands of good results that Gerard has collected over the years, to besmirch his good name. Today, for instance, we have a disaster that E.A. would reflexively blame on Gee. Let’s subject it to some objective analysis.

Gee opens a weak notrump and his partner bids two hearts, neglecting his longest suit. When you are going to play a part score, go for your best fit: who cares if it’s a major or minor at IMPs? If North bids his diamonds first, Gee will know when the opponents reach the spade game to bid 5D, down only one. Instead North bids his hearts and then bids diamonds at the three level, showing a good hand with more hearts than diamonds. When four spades comes around to Gee, he is looking at the top of his notrump range and his partner has bid twice, promising at least 8 or 9 points. The opponents can’t possibly be making 4S and Gee doubles, as any expert would.

Fu leads his stiff club, on which Gee drops the ten. Declarer plays trump. Gee grabs the ace and leads another club away from his jack. The 9 holds, Fu is unable to ruff, and declarer claims 6. Skeptics may criticize Gee for not holding it to 5. But he needed a way to beat the hand and was looking for the extra spades that his partner showed during the auction. What’s another doubled overtrick at IMPs?

This is not to blame dickfu either, a fine player in his own right. These hands very rarely come up and are quite difficult to judge. My purpose is to make sure that everyone realizes that Gee is being wrongfully made fun of on this website and in his spec. This has to stop.

Read This Fast

Sep 112002

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: Q

	ada_1 Q J 7 4 Q 10 3 7 6 3 K 10 3
acemi_ce A 9 3 2 K J 4 4 A Q J 7 6		Maestro 10 6 5 A 9 7 A K 5 2 9 4 2
	moon K 8 8 6 5 2 Q J 10 9 8 8 5

West
1

3NT

North
Pass
Pass

East
2NT
Pass

South
Pass
Pass

Richard Posner once remarked that the best way to read the French deconstructionists, like Derrida and Lacan, is as quickly as possible, because then “they almost make sense.” I recommend the same procedure with today’s hand. I should note, before we begin, that this hand was played non-competitively. This will feature prominently later on.

Gee winds up in an eminently reasonable notrump game after a standard auction, and receives the obvious lead of the DQ. Gee wins DK and leads a club, finessing the jack. South plays C8 and North ducks, correctly.

Our hero crosses to his hand with the HA and leads the C9, South playing the 5. He lets the 9 run, which wins four club tricks against any possible layout. Time to claim.

North wins the C10 and returns a diamond. Gee wins the DK — no need to duck with nine tricks in the bag — and promptly takes the heart finesse. North wins and returns his last diamond, allowing South to cash three diamond tricks for down 1.

“Not sure,” says Gee, “that I would play that way in competition.” His partner doesn’t answer. He must have been too busy picking his jaw up off the floor.

Who’s the Captain?

Sep 102002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: Q

	weedo Q 7 2 J 10 Q J 7 5 K Q 9 5
wharfewi J 8 5 3 K Q 8 7 6 3 K 10 3 —		Maestro A 9 6 A 4 2 8 2 A J 10 4 3
	cj78 K 10 4 9 5 A 9 6 4 8 7 6 2

West

1
4
5
Pass

North
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

East
1

1NT
4NT
5

South
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

Many figures of authority — CEOs, Third-World dictators, bridge bidding captains — are reluctant to cede power when their time is up.

Today’s auction begins deceptively smoothly, as Gee, East, opens 1C and rebids 1NT over his partner’s 1H response. Trouble begins when West jumps to game in hearts over 1NT. One can argue the merits of this, but I think it’s a decent practical bid at IMPs, especially in an unpracticed partnership like this one. 4H is likely to have a play against most possible East hands, and it’s nearly cold against any number of trashy openers, such as KQxx Jxx QJx Kxx.

A novice would pass 4H. An intermediate would pass 4H. A random stranger would pass 4H. Gee bids 4NT. 1NT showed a balanced hand with 12-14 points and 4NT, coincidentally, shows exactly the same thing. I assume West thought his 5C response was standard Blackwood; if they’re playing RKC then of course he’s lying, not that I’d blame him. (The post mortem indicates that he had no idea what 4NT was and probably chose 5C has the cheapest bid.) Gee, off either one ace or two key cards, signs off in 5H.

The DA is onside so the contract goes down only 1. West, in the post mortem, has the temerity to question our hero’s bidding and is shortly put in his place:

wharfewi: what was 4 no trumps partner
G: was rkc of course
wharfewi: why
G: because you jumped to 4H all by yourself and I have more than the minimum
G: but you did not have a 4H bid, to me
wharfewi: you have 13 points and your bid of 1 no trump said 12 to 14 points
Spec #1: exactly, gerard can’t worm out of this one
Spec #2: no he can’t
G: after you bid 4H, I have distrib too
wharfewi: you have a flat hand
G: are you saying you always bid game in a suit on 23 points?
weedo: next hand pls
Spec #1: gerard should have bid 2 hearts anyway not one no
Spec #3: I guess with G’s bidding expertise…his book on bidding is selling like hotcakes
Spec #4: studied in all universities
Spec #3: i can’t believe G is playing with “int:adv” player… how does he expect to carry him :)
Spec #1: gerard has made all the errors
Spec #4: that never happened before…:_>
Spec #5: Pt’s rating is much above G’s
Spec #1: rite
Spec #3: G can’t carry himself…
G: will be my last one. ty partner:)

That’s telling him.

Sep 102002

I’m told — not personally of course, but by a third party — that Gee has declined to play my challenge match. My conditions are apparently unfair. After careful consideration, I am willing to abandon my third condition. He need not advertise my site on his card since everyone knows where it is anyway. While I’m at it, I’ll drop the second condition as well; why shouldn’t Gee retain the right to banish spectators, especially at other people’s tables? And now that I think about it, I don’t really want him to open his Lehmans either, lest he scare off prospective opponents. Better drop that too. I’ve already agreed that Gee can choose his partner; suppose I let him choose mine as well, no experience necessary. Finally, I think it only fair that if I have to close down my site if I lose, I should have to close it down if I win as well. I look forward to further negotiation.

Absolute Zero

Sep 092002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: North
Lead: 3

	nspi 9 7 5 A K J 4 2 K 7 2 6 4
tiger A 6 3 2 Q 9 3 10 6 4 J 8 3		vcaracci K 4 10 7 Q J 9 3 A 10 9 5 2
	Maestro Q J 10 8 8 6 5 A 8 5 K Q 7

West

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North
Pass
1

3NT

East
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

South
1

2NT
Pass

An absolute zero — a play that always fails, on any distribution — is surprisingly difficult to achieve. Even a master often manages, if only accidentally, to find a line that wins some of the time.

Gee, South, reaches a thin notrump game after a rather ambitious fourth suit forcing bid and notrump raise by North. A diamond lead turns out to be best for the defense, and is a decent choice given the artificial 2D bid, but West chooses H3.

Two tricks at most are available in either black suit, and with a diamond shift obviously forthcoming declarer won’t have time to play on both. Since spades are certain to set up for two tricks they seem the obvious choice. It follows, of course that the entire heart suit has to come in. Declarer is down if the H3 is from four or a stiff; he must decide whether Qxx is more likely than either 10xx or 9xx and play accordingly.

The actual play goes, at first, according to plan. Gee wins the HA, postponing the heart decision (East drops the H7), and plays a spade. East flies the SK and shifts, as expected, to a diamond. Gee wins on board, West playing D4, and leads another spade. It does West no good to duck; he wins the SA and leads D10, which East allows to ride to Gee’s DA. (Ducking doesn’t help declarer either. Diamonds clearly break 4-3, or East would overtake the D10, but a heart loser would still be at least five tricks for the defense.)

It looks like time to guess hearts. No, Gee leads the king of clubs. Naturally the defense wins the CA and cashes two diamond tricks for down 1. When I first read this hand I was sure this was an absolute zero, but I was wrong. If West started with 10x in diamonds and the CA, and East erred by failing to overtake the D10 with QJ9xx, and Gee guesses the hearts correctly, he can still make. So you see, absolute zero is nearly as difficult to achieve at the bridge table as it is in nature. You just have to keep at it.

Sep 092002

A reader was kind enough to forward a complete copy of Bridge Is a Conversation, which I plan to peruse over the next couple of days. There will be additions to the book page. For now, I leave you with this: “Recently, I played Roman Club 1959 with a partner and got rimmed by him because I used a modification that appeared in the 1961 version.” Did he really say “rimmed”?

Lost in the Supermarket

Sep 082002

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: South
Lead: J

	Maestro 8 10 2 K Q 9 8 7 6 5 2 J 10
doktor K J 10 9 4 A 7 5 3 10 4 7 4		maytaman Q 7 6 Q J 6 4 3 9 8 5 3 2
	pkchance A 5 3 2 K 9 8 A J A K Q 6

West

Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North

4
6
6NT

East

Pass
Pass
Pass

South
2NT
4

Pass

You remember yesterday’s hand with the two deaf old ladies chatting at the supermarket? I should have saved that for today. Now I have to go back and write a different lead for yesterday, but that would force me to change today’s lead…the critic’s work is never done.

Gee is North, and responds to his partner’s 2NT opening with Gerber, his favorite convention, which he plays, by his own account, over any notrump bid. (Any notrump bid, you ask? Any notrump bid.)

South mysteriously replies 4H. I’m not sure what he thinks the 4C bid was. A transfer? An unspecified two-suiter with slam interest? Checkback Stayman? He certainly didn’t think it was Gerber.

The 4H bid, showing one ace, might give the STCP™ pause. Off three aces, he can’t bid the diamond game, let alone a slam. He might try signing off in 4NT, which South should pass, and pray that his diamonds come in.

Sissy stuff. Gee deduces immediately that his partner did not understand his bid — less experienced players should carefully note the implications for partnership trust — and charges ahead to 6D. South is still confused, and corrects to 6H. I lack even a theory about the meaning of this bid and would be obliged to any reader who can supply one.

As North, I would now conclude that South has a 4H opener and psyched the 2NT to shut the opponents out of the bidding. This merely points up the difference between the amateur and the professional. Gee fearlessly corrects to 6NT, which is cold, while 6D is down 1 on the almost certain heart lead. (In a normal auction, South, with AJ in diamonds and the HK to protect, should pull 6D to 6NT, reasoning that he will take the same tricks in either spot; but never mind.) The anonymous spec who sent me this hand footnoted 6NT as “the genius bid,” and who could argue?

Drury-Cohen

Sep 072002

Both Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: 8

	Maestro 7 6 4 A K J Q J 9 10 9 7 2
dr.j K J 5 10 5 8 7 4 3 2 J 8 5		lehicks 10 9 3 7 3 A K 10 6 5 Q 4 3
	bossman A Q 8 2 Q 9 8 6 4 2 — A K 6

West
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

North
Pass
3

4NT
6

East
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass

South
1

5NT
Pass

Today’s “conversation” reminds me of the joke about the two half-deaf old ladies chatting at the supermarket. “Are you thirsty?” “No, it’s Tuesday.” And so on.

Gee is North today, and properly passes his dead flat bad 11, leaving his partner to open 1H fourth-hand. The STCP™ might consider Drury here, leaving some bidding room below game to explore slam if partner has a powerful hand. Gee, however, playing the Drury-Cohen treatment, jumps to 3H instead.

South cues clubs, and Gee, with nothing to cue and a minimum, signs off in 4H. South should pass this, but instead he cues 4S. He has fallen in love with his hand and visions of slam dance in his head. He imagines a North hand like Kx KJxx Jxxx Qxx, on which 6H is almost cold. He neglects to imagine a North hand like Jxx AJxx K10x 10xx, on which 5H is likely down and even 4H is not cold.

Gee, who never met a cue bid over game he didn’t like, forgets all of a sudden that he’s already bid his minimum and launches into Blackwood. 5NT appears to be some sort of Voidwood reply; not that it matters, as 6H has become inevitable.

This contract looks hopeless at first glance, but there are several chances. If we assume that the SK is onside and that either trump or spades break, declarer can play for the double finesse in clubs, hoping to pin the 8 in the West hand. This gives 6H a 2% chance minimum, maybe 3%. On the actual layout, of course, it’s down 2, but that’s hindsight.

A standard reverse Drury auction would give South room to cue clubs and spades and still sign off in 4H. This does not pass unnoticed by the spectators, one of whom asks Gee why he didn’t bid Drury. “Not on this,” says Gee. “If not on this on what?” he asks. “Not with all the top honors!” Gee replies. Of course. The Cohen treatment.

Older Entries Newer Entries