The Perfect Storm

N/S Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: 4

	justinl 8 7 3 Q 10 6 4 A K Q 8 7 K
curtisxx Q J 6 4 2 9 6 5 3 J 8 5 4		nui 10 9 5 A 7 3 2 4 2 A 9 6 2
	Maestro A K K J 8 5 J 10 9 Q 10 7 3

West Pass Pass Pass Pass Pass Pass

North 1 3 5 6 7

East Pass Pass Pass Dbl Pass

South 1 4NT 5NT 6 Pass

 

The genuine expert knows the importance of table demeanor. Winning the hand must often take a back seat to winning the post mortem.

The diamond opener and 1H response are unexceptionable. Justin’s 3H rebid is arguable, but his other choice is an underbid of 2H and, being aggressive, he chooses the overbid.

Gee wants to go slamming opposite the jump raise. He could cue the spades, giving Justin a chance to show a club holding; or support diamonds belatedly; or just bid Key Card Blackwood, keeping his partner completely in the dark. He bids Key Card Blackwood.

Justin shows his ace, and Gee follows with 5NT, asking for specific kings and guaranteeing the rest of the key cards. Trouble is, he doesn’t have the rest of the keycards; N/S are a couple short. Justin shows his CK, as instructed, with East doubling for a club lead, and Gee signs off in 6H. Justin promptly bids the grand, which makes sense. His diamond suit is likely worth five tricks. And even if it’s only good for four, his stiff CK is now worth a trick. Add in a club ruff and you’re already at 12; the CQ, a fifth heart, the SK or a second club ruff will produce a 13th.

Whether East’s failure to double is from pity, shock, or inattention is not for me to say. As the dummy comes down the specs begin to stir:

Spec #1: what’s going on here!!!!!
Spec #2: we are trying for stix and wheels in a voluntarily bid grand!!! [Ed. — That’s old news.]
Spec #3 [wondering about Gee’s table note, “Online lessons available”]: on line lessons????
Gerard: chicken?
Spec #4: Can’t blame Justin when partner confirms all the Aces
Spec #5: 5nt says we have all the aces pd so kq of diamond + k of club a lot of tricks
Spec #6: 5nt was the bid that made it possible
justinl [to specs]: silly me… thought 5nt showed all the keycards
Spec #7: i understand justin
Spec #8: afraid gee will be very tired after this hand
justinl [to specs]: then i thought 5 d 4 h 2 cl 1 sp 1 cl ruff or a 5th heart or king of spades
Spec #3 [still wondering]: so online lessons would be all about correct bidding???

OK. You’ve miscounted key cards and put the partnership in a hopeless slam (whether small or large is of little consequence when you’re off two aces). An ordinary player might apologize or keep his counsel. Only the expert understands that this is the time for a blistering offensive in the post mortem:

Gerard: 3H?
justinl: G please do not criticize 3h after you bid 5nt
Spec #2: LOL
justinl: i showed 1 or 4 and you had 2
Spec #2: justin is getting testy
Gerard: how do I have 2?
justinl [to specs]: sorry specs… can’t do it if he’s going to criticize me
Gerard: I have 1 ace
Gerard: you showed 4
justinl: bye all thanks for game
Spec #7: lol
justinl has left the table.
nui: wow
Gerard: oh well
Spec #7: geez, first time i have seen justin get upset

Gee closes the table, remarking, “I am sick and tired of it all.” Maybe so. But I never get tired of this stuff.