Dear Dr. Robert:

What sort of charm or amulet should Gee’s partners carry to overcome Gee’s bad luck?

— Superstitious in the Sudan

Dear Su-Su-Sudio:

Sometimes even the experts need experts. I consulted my friend and colleague, Witch Doctor Wendy. She is exceptionally well-versed in voodoo and black magic, and has come up with a do-it-yourself home kit which no one who plays with Gee should be without.

• A printed-out copy of Bridge is a Conversation, for quick and easy reference in case you don’t know what to bid. Plus it makes for great bathroom reading.
• A granola bar. High blood sugar is essential to maintain the alertness that partnering Gee requires.
• A large mallet. To beat your head in whenever appropriate, Looney Tunes style.
• A horseshoe (metal only). Doubles as a hard object to throw through a window, should you feel the need to act on your frustrations.
• A copy of my autobiography, Preemptive Vulnerable Overcalls in the Mist: My Life Studying Gee. Coming soon to a bookstore near you.