Quack Quack

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: East
Lead: 10

	petit_g J 9 7 3 8 5 4 2 9 2 6 4 2
krt K 6 5 2 A 6 3 10 Q J 9 8 5		taryk A Q 8 4 K 9 A K 8 5 4 A 10
	Maestro 10 Q J 10 7 Q J 7 6 3 K 7 3

West Dbl

North Pass

East 2NT Pass

South 3 Pass

Today Gee sits South and hears a first-hand 2NT opener to his right. In a red suit his hand can be expected to take approximately three tricks. Applying the rule of six, which states that one should always preempt six tricks above expectation at equal vulnerability (seven favorable, five unfavorable), Gee accordingly bids 3D, showing diamonds and another. STCPs™ should note that this is simply the old 2-3-4 rule of preempts, adjusted for expert play.

West doubles, showing cards and an interest in penalty — it would be unfair to call it Bones when he knows that E/W have at least three-fourths of the deck — and North, the long-suffering Mini-Gee, passes. It looks to the casual observer like he should take the logo save; three hearts goes for a mere 800 on best play. But Mini realizes that in hearts he, not Gee, would be declarer, and the three-trick expert adjustment would no longer apply. (Students of Gee, as opposed to Gee himself, are entitled to a one- or two-trick adjustment at most.) Under the circumstances he has no choice but to pass.

East is delighted to leave in the double with his trump stack, and West leads the D10, ducked to Gee’s jack. One trick for declarer. Gee leads a spade, won by East, who returns another spade, pumping the chump. Two tricks for declarer. Gee switches to the HQ now, too late. East wins the HK, cashes the two top trumps, and plays a third round of spades. Gee discards a club, which doesn’t help. Club ace and another club to Gee’s CK. Three tricks for declarer. Another heart to West’s HA. West cashes clubs, and Gee ruffs in with the DQ for his fourth, and last, trick.

Of course it is only fair to note that had Mini-Gee shown up with a stone yarborough, instead of the SJ, slam in spades or notrump would be cold for E/W, and sticks and wheels would be a mere setback instead of a calamity. In fact six spades is an excellent contract, going down only because of the bad trump break and the offside CK. And how could our hero be expected to foresee that?