The Pure Zero

None Vul
IMPs
Dealer: West
Lead: 6

	priceat — J 5 A Q J 7 4 3 2 A J 5 3
Maestro A Q 7 6 4 3 A 10 3 5 Q 8 4		hl J 8 5 2 8 7 6 2 K 10 9 7 6
	wildats K 10 9 K Q 9 4 8 6 K 10 9 2

West 1 Pass

North 2 Pass

East 2 Pass

South 3NT

 

Many “zero percent plays” are not, technically, pure zeros; there is often some arcane distribution on which the “zero” play would succeed. Today Gee is kind enough to supply us with the rarer case of a pure zero, a play that always fails, no matter what the layout.

Today we reach 3NT after what, by the standards of the Chronicles, is a normal auction. South has just about the absolute minimum for his game bid, and North should certainly consider bidding further with his seven-bagger and spade void. 5D is far superior to 3NT on the layout; and even slam is barely possible with a magic South hand like, say, QJx Ax Kx KQxxxx.

But 3NT it is, against which Gee, sitting West, leads an automatic low spade. The first trick goes club sluff, SJ, SK, and South leads a diamond, finesses the DQ and prays. No luck; it loses to East’s DK and the S2 is promptly led back. South plays the S10 and our hero wins the SQ. Gee thinks for a moment (I once heard a very wise player remark, “When the opponents think there’s always hope.”) and produces the S3. Plus 430 to N/S; only -3 IMPs because 5D is cold.

A rather put-upon East inquires, “I thought my S2 meant original 4th, was I wrong?”

Replies Gee: “I had so many spades, could not believe you could possibly have 4.” The reader should pause to grasp the implications of this remark.

One’s first thought might be that it’s not especially remarkable for seven hidden spades to be divided 4-3 in favor of the player who raised the suit. But let’s dig a little deeper. Original 4th best has been a standard defensive convention since Ely Culbertson’s heyday; but note that Gee doesn’t deny that his partner showed 4; he denies believing his partner had 4. Sure, bridge is a conversation and all, but one must sometimes take matters into one’s own hands.

OK then. Let’s suppose East had three and led the wrong spot back. South must have every missing high card for his 3NT bid. Therefore your only chance to beat the contract in this case is to hope that East holds K109x in diamonds and South needs a heart trick to make. You may as well clear the spades. It costs nothing; and who knows? Partner may have led back the correct spot.

It’s also remotely possible that East made an eccentric spade raise on Jx, and South holds K10985 in spades. In this scenario the only way to beat the contract is to play partner for a double stop in diamonds and six small hearts (giving South KQ tight), and to hope South misguesses clubs. Here it’s essential to lead either the HA or the H10, unblocking the suit. Not a low spade.

We are left, in short, with a play that can only lose if partner played correctly, and can only break even if partner played incorrectly. A pure zero.